Goku's diary 1

Goku's diary 1

GOKU’S DIARY


By Tyrana.


FIRST ENTRY

Dear diary,

Today was the joyous day of Buu’s demise.

Man, that fight with the pink gurgle was incredible. Several hours have since elapsed and I still can feel the rush in my veins. Too bad it’s all over, I can wait to meet him again in his next life. I hope King Kai will keep his promise to give… pppp.. pri…
…
…Eh what was that word he used? It started with p… property? No, I know that one… pyroly…no, no, no, it sounded more like priroritic…Whatever! He explained it meant he would fix it so Boo’s new self could return really, really soon, but this time re--gene-- regent…regentated…mph! …as a good person. That will be quite a ride, my hair’s stand on end only thinking of it. It’s a pity that will take some years. It’s gonna be so booooring!

If at least I could have stayed dead…with all the bunch of tough guys I still had to fight in the otherworld. But here there’s nothing exciting to do anymore.
… I would like to fuse with Vegeta again. It was a dream come true, all that power was so electrifying. The way our energies merged together, man, I thought I was going to explode like a super-nova. Never before I had felt so alive.

I really miss him, when we were together as one I felt indestructible but now, all that’s been left is this feeling of inner emptiness, a loneliness the likes of which I’ve never experienced in my whole life; not even during all those years of my childhood when I grew all by myself, isolated from the rest of the world.

I’d give anything to do the fusion again. But I think Vegeta would rather die instead…Mm, I must think of a way to bribe him into it. It’s funny, I don’t understand why he was so hostile about the whole thing, being such a sucker for strength. Though…he’s so proud and arrogant, he sure hated the fact to only be able to reach such power with my collaboration.

But when everything was over he was acting weird, not fuming with rage as I expected. He was discontented, like disappointed? I can’t put my finger on it… I would like to think that he was also pining for that sensation of wholeness the fusion provided; but I’m not that delusional. Most likely, he was just all flustered and riled up, regretting the whole affair.

But he looked at me funny, with this lingering and almost sad gaze that seemed so alien on his face…It’s strange. Honestly, the man has always been quite disconcerting; as much as his reactions may look predictable, you can never be sure what’s really going on inside his head. Most of the time he seems to be engaged in the middle of an endless battle against himself, trying to sort out some permanent conflict. Perhaps that’s the reason why he’s always so moody and edgy.
Oh well, I wish we could be friends; I bet we can reach even higher power levels if we train together…Well, that will be number one on my to-do list: To befriend Vegeta. Yup, I know I’ll get it.

Hehe, maybe things won’t be that boring after all. And I can have some fun training my son, Goten. Wow, that kid is amazing, so young and with the ability to become Supersaiyan . That’s my son. I’m so proud of him, and Gohan. It’s a shame I can’t see him more often now, just when I got news about him. Mph, Chichi has not been nice…dumping me so harshly, and without even giving me something for dinner.

When we gathered the balls and Shenron resurrected all my friends, I was so happy. They were all there, Krillin, Tien, Yamcha…There was a great banquet -courtesy of Mr. Popo- at the lookout. Heck, even Vegeta didn’t seem as grumpy as usual…only half…and I think he was still looking at me funny. But I can’t be so sure about that, ‘cause I was too distracted with all that heavenly food…mm…And all went so dandy. It was nice to enjoy the company of old friends, without any threat to care about. We laughed a lot; I missed that. I didn’t realize it until now. All those years I remained dead and I didn’t even give a single thought about it, Isn’t it funny?

It’s so incredibly amazing to find that the rare moments of true happiness, most of the times, are made of the simplest things. There I was, sat beside my youngest son, stuffing my mouth as if there was no tomorrow (hey, that almost happened, thanks to Buu!) when certain buzzing sound -some muffled chuckles and giggles drifted to my ears. I lifted my head to a bunch of merry faces staring at Goten and me. I was baffled but didn’t stop eating as I eyed them questioningly, waiting for an explanation of sorts. But none came. For a second Goten and I looked at each other, both identically dumbfounded. However, shrugging our shoulders, we resumed our food consumption, and it was then when a general laughter rumbled throughout the lookout.

I set my chop sticks on the table and, scratching the back of my head, joined the collective amusement with a rather silly guffaw. Through the corner of my eye I could see my son mirroring inadvertently my every stance, expression, movement, guise and manners. That gave me a clue of what had my friends at the verge of hysterics. Krillin, who had it the worst, with a face so red I thought his head was about to burst out spraying tomato juice all over the place (He really looked like he was about to, believe me!) and barely containing his tears stammered something about Goten being a perfect mini-clone. I sensed heat painting my cheeks in glowing red and my lips rejoicing in a beaming grin. Heck, even Vegeta descended for a while from his aloof throne in the summit of his coldness to acknowledge the general sunny mood with an amused ’hn’

The whole situation might be a little silly; I admit that. But I felt such warmness spreading inside -a sensation of being at home at last…But then I noticed for the first time that Chichi was abnormally quiet; nothing remotely close to her usual histrionic self. She looked skittish, edgy; as if something was gnawing at her from the inside and yet she was so contained it was almost scary. And those eyes…Honestly, I would have preferred at that moment that she would have retrieved from out of nowhere one of her frying-pans of doom (where did she get them anyway? There were times I wondered if at some stage of her adolescence she ran away from home to join a circus and become the assistant of some cheap magician. She was gifted with a raw talent, so she could have made a career there. Surely by now she would be famous…And that poor pan, that was something. Really durable; undamaged after years of beating the very life out of my tough, tough skull and still as shiny and lustrous as the first day.)

Uh? What I was talking about?…Oh yes, her eyes. Her eyes held a glint I’ve never thought possible to find there. It screamed guilt and betrayal. Chichi? Not her, she had always been so transparent, so honest…Ok, ok, I admit she can be manipulative and calculating, and very capable to beat your average cunning, sly gouger with her devious tricks. Otherwise, our marriage would have never come into existence. Had I known then the degree of commitment the thing implied, I would most likely had fled on the back of my loyal Nimbus to gleefully dip into the very bowels of hell.

Darn, not that Chichi isn’t OK or anything. But I was too young and the only lifestyle I yearned for back then was one full of adventures -rebellious, haphazard and dangerous. ‘Cause, what could feel better than getting dissolved into the freedom provided by kicking some asses and punching some noses; than loosing myself into the joy of my childish cockiness, asserting the superiority of my force?

And Kami knows I don’t blame her, neither I ever sulked or acted sour about it. I tried, I swear I really tried to please her, to devote my whole self to her. But there was always something missing. And this imposed life, (and believe me I make this statement holding no bitterness), was choking me, strangling me and sucking out the very breath from my lungs. So what else could I do other than escaping?

My only remorse: Gohan. My son was always the collateral damage of my misdeeds, the one left behind whenever I feel the urge to toss myself upwards desperately to hatch to the surface into fresh, pure air. ‘It’s for the best,’ I tried to quell the voice of my guilt with dubious reasoning, ’He cannot spend the rest of his life being a dependent, weak child. He needs to mature, to become tough, to acquire character. As I did myself, growing on my own.’

I stole a glance at Gohan over the rim of my bowl of rice. Nothing wrong there; a serene smile adorning his relaxed face; his body language oozed calmness and contentment. He may not seem overly merry; but unlike the happy-go-lucky me, he was always a reserved child. To me it was evident that he had found some sort of quiet happiness.

Once I reassured myself, my easygoing and careless self returned to the merry munching; the strangeness of Chichi’s antics forgotten. Until she suddenly sprang up from her seat, as if she had a blistering amber beneath her behind. She announced she had to leave, with such coldness in her voice it reminded me of that snowed mountain nearby Octagon house. And I could not help the chill that bolted up my spine.

When I asked her to wait for me she forbad me to come back home. That house I made with my own hands wasn’t mine anymore. I was completely stupefied, as so the rest of my friends were. But after a brief, tense silence all was a jabbering rampage of requested explanations from each of us, of refusals and rebuffs on her side, attempts to persuade her to reconsider her decision, all spiced up with accusations and even some nasty cursing; and I think I heard a couple of mocking snickers coming from Vegeta‘s direction -honestly, his indifference would have been more desirable at that juncture.

Finally, after so much insistence, Chichi gave in -though reluctantly- to vent her secrets to eavesdropping ears.

She had a new husband.

The bomb has dropped! If Buu had re-materialized there in the lookout at that precise moment to start dancing the hula-hula, it wouldn’t have caused the commotion that ensued. I’d have never thought possible human jaws had such capacity of distension. Mouths and eyes grew to unsuspected limits before starting pouring insults and glaring daggers.

As for me, I could not understand why everybody was so mad at her. After all, she was the one who had been abandoned all those years, the one raising our kids and taking all the responsibilities of our precarious relationship. It was me the only one who deserved all that animosity and the nasty words; but I suppose is more thrilling, all shinny, cool and glamorous to save the planet from the scheming of a random villain with the only aid of one’s own fabulous strength. At that moment, I felt pity for her.

Yet I was at a loss as to why I was forbidden into my own house. I remember to have been lingering in scratching my head more insistently than usually, because it was all too confusing. And the most shocking of it all was how collected and silent Chichi remained, only the throbbing vein on the corner of her forehead giving away how tense and aggravated she actually was. I have never seen her like that, I was so accustomed to her passionate tantrums that such behavior, I must confess, disturbed me more than any other thing I have ever confronted.

I only wanted to know what was going on, but all I could manage was to call her name in a questioning tone, but very weakly. Surprisingly, everybody else heard me through all the ruckus and they turned their faces in my general direction almost apologetically, as if ashamed of having completely forgotten about me in their harassment of my wife, err…ex-wife.

She talked to me in the same condescending tone she would make use of to lecture an ignorant kid. According her, our ’till death do us apart’ votes had dissolved when I decided to remain in the otherworld, and she needed a real husband, a man selfless enough to devote all his life to her, to treat her like the princess she was in reality and to love her to the point to even adore the very floor she‘d step on.

And she had found him.

Funny how my sons hadn’t told me anything about it. It’s not that I was angry or upset. Well, only for the fact that I wasn’t allowed going home for dinner.

I made clear I did not mind that other man living with all of us. I just could have my own bedroom, and besides I would probably leave for very long periods in search for some action. But she made a funny face as I was talking and she kept on refusing, explaining that it wasn’t the right thing to do. That now I had to live my own life, away from them all.

I really couldn’t understand what was all the fuss about it, or her irritation when I asked her why she didn’t want to cook for me anymore. She only said she wasn’t my wife anymore. As if that was the ultimate argument which explained everything.

When she left, followed suit by my sons, my friends hurled over me trying to disguise their pity under the veneer of pretended sympathy. It was suffocating. I just needed room, and air, and some peace. So, as much tempting the prospect of a good meal might sound, I declined politely all their offers of an overnight stay at their respective homes.

It was quite the task to disentangle my body from that human blanket, but finally I found myself free again, sailing through the blazing colors of the evening sky, without a clue of where I was going. I didn’t care in the least, I just wanted to fly, and breath deeply, and chase the clouds and laugh with joy at how pretty everything was.

The diversion ceased the moment my stomach started rumbling. “Time to find a place for the night,” I conceded while patting my belly. So I slowed my pace to survey the land below.

Soon, I spotted a nice clearing surrounded by lush foliage, but before landing I soared in wide circles high above the forest looking for my dinner. I met it in the form of a big, succulent dinosaur which I rapidly caught without even breaking a sweat. I licked my chops in anticipation, salivating all the way to the glade.

But the night did not result as memorable as it had deceptively presented itself.

Oops I miscalculated…ehehe and I burnt my food when I tried to roast it with my ki. But, it had been ages since last time I had to resort to hunt and cook my own food and sometimes I kinda forget the extent of my power.

Now let me tell you something, never ever try charred dinosaur-steak. My stomach roared and lurched the whole night as if it was possessed by some diabolic force. I was so queasy after so much retching that I barely made it, stumbling all the way to a nearby cave. With the last ounce of strength left on my wrecked body I flopped with a very loud and unceremonious thump on the solid ground. It wasn’t anything like a cozy bed with soft pillows to snuggle into, but at least it was warm and dry.

I felt so weak I thought I wouldn’t be able to pull myself up for the whole night, let aside bearing the pressure of my own weight. An unbidden guest soon proved me how stupidly wrong I had been in my assumption. It was there, prowling in the shadows, the demonic beast. A MOUSE….baring blood-thirsty teeth, shooting all its evilness through those red eyes. I jumped up, arms flailing in the air, and squeaked hysterically, like a frightened girl and, coated by a sheet of cold sweat, I ran, ran for my life through the forest; branches digging and tearing at my flesh, the icy air biting at my skin.

Halting before the highest tree I found, I swung my head over my shoulder to make sure the monster wasn’t anywhere near and climbed to the top, where I perched myself , keeping a restless vigil throughout the night.

P.S: Tomorrow I NEED to start building a cabin…as far as possible from that damned cave of doom.


TBC