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Biology
Here I am, all anxiety, all nerves and bone. Every other fleshy tissue is gripped by gravity. Every disc of fibro-cartilage in my spine being flattened by my heavy shoulders, head, and heart. My eyes twitch side to side, the way the eyes do when one is in REM. Focusing is difficult as dreamy images float across the pages of a book that never ends. Every axon and dendrite in every neuron completely alive like an uninsulated electric wire, popping and sparking like they're demyelinated. Every muscle, smooth or skeletal, frozen due to lack of heat from my blood. The blood is all flowing to my heart to keep me alive. My circulation is going white water, and every innertube-shaped erythrocyte plunges up and down as it is hurried along the river of plasma, hitting walls of squamous epithelium lining my tightly-pulled blood vessels. My heart beats at a fast tempo, until I hear it begging me for mercy in my ears. I hear the beats from the inside, and on the outside a faint, high-pitched beep that pierces straight through my skull and meninges into my cerebrum. I quiver uncontrollably, my cartilage and ligaments shaking in their places.
Your face pops out of the book when I flip the page. I let out a short "OH!" as my stomach flips like a wind-struck weather balloon in my abdominal cavity. This balloon hits my diaphragm so hard that I gasp as the immediately cranial chamber holding my lungs caves in slightly from the bottom. You might have felt the same if you had just heard a gunshot within an earshot. I pause for a moment, trying to regain some kind of calmness that I never had tonight to begin with. Just when I thought I had learned to control my emotions, I learned that I didn't have control of MYSELF.
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