Demens Goes To The Beach

Demens Goes To The Beach

The air was hot and stiff as it plunged down over those who were splayed out on the beach, the only relief found from the cool, ocean waters that lapped at the feet of small children and their toy shovels. It was a furiously hot summer day, and the several strips of sand on the Jersey Shore were crowded with families, old men with metal detectors and girls with skimpy bikinis and long French nails. The specific long wash of sand we will focus on shall be Sea Isle City, where instead of a boardwalk they have a lengthy slab of pavement known as the’ Promenade’.

Out off within the rolling waves there was suddenly a veritable heap of wet feathers careening with the shore; limbs flying every which way as a head full of damp mint tresses burst up from the surf. This caused a very petite lady beneath a rainbow beach umbrella to giggle within her palms, the awkward looking man bumbling through the sand to make his way back up toward her, his bright yellow and orange swim trunks -no doubt left over from the 80’s- flapping with that wet ‘skloosh’ sound as he was making due haste.

“Did you see me!? Were you watching!?” Demens shouted at the top of his lungs, scaring a little girl so bad she ran off screaming for her daddy. Practically dive bombing the blanket in which the little lady was sitting on, he swept his long legs into a sitting position as he bounced a bit, hoping for much praise.

Isil could only giggle brightly as she nodded, her laughter tinkling out into the salty air as she hid within the shade of the umbrella. Walker made it very clear she was not to go out into the ocean or any body of water for that matter without him present; she could not swim at all. So he had reluctantly, (that was putting it lightly, he had practically screamed his protestations so loud that they were almost kicked out of the motel), allowed her to visit the beach with Demens, who he had no trust in what so ever. Later this evening he would let her swim in the pool that the motel provided, as long as she wore the water wings he had made Argoth go purchase; himself sitting at the edge of the water with an inner tube in hand, just in case. Also, because of her shockingly pale skin, Isil had to almost always stay beneath the gigantic umbrella lest she turn a rather sickly shade of burnt pink.

Demens knew his duties quite well; keep his very silly pet out of the sun and water. In the water, she was like a baby doll with its head chopped off--It just sort of bubbled a bit before floating right to the bottom. And the sun, well, turned her into some sort of mutant lobster. The thought made him shudder, and he would not have her turning into a giant crustacean with killer claws and creepy antennae. Rolling onto his winged appendages he put his hands and feet in the air rather like a puppy might, and she reached over to ruffle at his ridiculous head of emerald hair. He would have been content to laze about the beach with his pet had something not caught his eye...

Something ravishing.

It may have been the Jersey shore, but that didn’t mean there were not a few palm trees here and there---Planted by the people of the city to make things feel more tropical instead of potentially so cold that the idea of beach weather was long gone from summer thoughts. The rattled angel drifted to his feet as if in a trance, and Isil paid no never mind to his antics as she went back to reading her worn, tattered book with the words ‘William Blake’ barely legible where the gold leafing was flaking off.

His bare feet thudded through the sand, mouth agape as he eyed the slender palm like it was end all, be all of his entire existence. Of course people gawked at his ivory wings, while others just ignored; a family making sand castle was most upset when he stomped right through it. But some ridiculous fort made of sand was trivial to him; it would never hold up in battle or against the elements so he never understood why tiny mortals made them. Demens finally found himself up on the Promenade, and suddenly he burst into a run.

Women screamed as they yanked their children out of his way, and bikers skidded to the side as he took up the entire thing; wings spread wide as he took flight. Actually, the entire running was pointless; from where Isil’s blanket was to where the palm took root was about 20 yards.

But Demens just HAD to meet this lovely lady.

‘Well...Hello darling,” He cooed with an insane smile, pretending to yawn and stretch until an arm lay snuggly wrapped around the trunk. Bright pool of pale blue peered up the massive plant at its broad leaves like an old man staring up a young woman’s skirt; giggling like a maniac as he blushed profusely. About this time boardwalk security was making their way promptly toward the man babbling at a palm tree like school girl. One of the men, a rather portly fellow, stepped toward Demens with a hand up in a ‘halt’ sort of indication.

“Sir, we must ask you to cease your um...Tree hugging this instant. It’s beginning to disturb some of the other beach goers and if you would just return to your---“He didn’t get to finish his orders.

Leaping before the two officers he pounded at his bare chest which he had puffed up, he made his voice deep than usual-trying to impress his new lady friend.

“You’ll never tear us apart good security guard peoples!”With that he fluttered up into the pale blue sky, only to come down and sit within the canopy of the palm he would not be separated from. Grasping at the broad leaves he swayed forward and back, thus having the tree do this as well. Cackling at how distressed the guards suddenly spoke into their radios, he began to sing at the top of his lungs.

“IF YOU WANT MY BODY, AND YOU THINK I’M SEXY, COME ON SUGAR LET ME KNOW!!!!, “ A crowd had begun to gather around out of a strange combination of fear and whimsy, “ IF YOU REALLY NEED ME, JUST REACH OUT AND TOUCH ME!!!!” Demens did a rather exaggerated pelvic thrust up into the air as he giggled like a school girl; wings taking his form into flight while the guards had in vain just propped a ladder against the towering tree. He spiraled through the air, hands spread wide to allow the smooth ocean air to coast through his damp hair and fingers.

With a slightly amused grin and chuckle he landed with an abrupt ‘thunk’ beside a snoring beach go-er in the sand; trotting off back toward where he knew his pet was still reading. Sporadic eyes glanced this way and that as he smiled like a maniac, or perhaps an escaped felon, as he wandered at a leisurely pace. Lifeguards sat up high in their nests, and children pranced about in the waves...But Demens just had to stop.

Oh good god, it was horrifying! That band of humans was burying one of their own up to his neck in sand, no doubt about to put a burlap sack filled with starving rats over his head!

Dashing over he screamed like a madman, clutching at his temples as the others backed off out of fear. The young man who was trapped within the sand looked around him in fright, unsure as to what was going on. “H-hey, dude, wh...What’s wrong? Do, do you need help or something...?” The question was quite tentative he felt like he might be attacked.

Demens yipped with delight, skipped around the talking head sprouting out of the ground with glee. “ALIVE! ALIVE I SAY! They have yet to chew off your ears!” He shrieked while standing atop this poor man’s head. “Do not fret young sir, I shall yank your head free so we may begin to search for the rest of your corpse!” Hands clutched at the base of his skull as the man was trying to get this madman to understand he FINE, a sharp yank shutting him up as his neck felt like it was snapping. A few more futile pulls and he collapsed onto his bum, giving a sigh as the decapitated head groaned with agony. “It appears you shall be headless forever...,” he mumbled, wings drooping in defeat,” Farewell Sand Head, maybe your other meat parts are still walking around.” The manic angel bounced to his feet, and waddled off down the long stretch of beach.

With several vocal ‘ho’s and ‘hums’ he plodded along, eventually finding a little girl who just had NO IDEA how to use her crayons, ridding her of them. He told her that if she didn’t know how they worked she didn’t deserve to use them, followed by sticking his tongue out at her crying features. A mouthful of goldenrod and electric lime crayons, he had fulfilled his duties for the day---The sun was going down, and it was about time to get his pet back her Walker, lest Demens become a stain on the pavement.

He discovered her exactly where he had left her, reading in the shade of her umbrella with book still in hand. Isil squeaked with surprise, almost dropping her book as the fallen maniac picked up the blanket, her, and the umbrella all in one fell swoop to cart her off. She really had no say in the matter, (no pun intended), as Demens skipped down the ramp into the city; his bare feet rather disgusting from all the things he had been running through today. Barely able to see due to the brightly hued umbrella right in his face, he pranced right through six lanes of traffic amidst the screeching tires and honking horns; Isil shielding her pale sight with her hands.

Several similarly dangerous road incidents later, they were in front of the “Sandy Dayz” Motel, (free hi-speed internet), and Demens continued to frolic until he stood in front of room 091. Using his minty green head as a knocker, he bashed his forehead several times into the faded yellow door.

It took no time at all for the door to creak open, the chain set firmly in its hold so that it could only peek at the outside; the disgruntled face of Walker was seen. By the sheepish smile on Isil’s face, he could tell that she was all together unharmed, and he would rather not think about the horrible things this winged freak might have put her through. The only reason he let the maniac hang around was that Isil had wanted him to, and he found it hard to deny her anything.

“Ok, just set her down and back the hell away, alright...!?” The Draculina’s deep, smoky tone barked out said orders with his hands waving at the angel in a ‘shooing’ motion. He was pleased to see that Demens simply placed her on the sidewalk, and waved in a manner that looked like his hand might fly off his wrist. He skipped about the parking lot until he saw Isil vanish inside the tiny room with her giant umbrella, no doubt berated with questions about what he might have done to her to cause her harm--There was that time Demens had tried to choke her just to see what would happen.

The manic angel sighed gently, and began to shake both of his hands; as if shaking away the day. The moon was beginning to replace the sun, trading their posts out as it were. Ivory appendages fluttered against the ocean breeze which tore through the streets, and he lazily strolled down the almost never ending side walk. No one ever really knew what Demens did in his spare time, and even he wasn’t quite sure. He just kept...Walking. Walking until he found something fun. Or a rather nice looking tree.