Emotion and A Bread Knife

My eye are shut in fear and desperation,
I live a lie and seek discreation,
My moment of glory shot down by the ones I love,
My moment to shine.

Who can I Blame?
Myself?
My parents?

My Siblings?

This is a far cry from what I know,
Now I'm full of hatred, pity and woe
Take me into thine arms and show me you care and love me,
Or do you dare?

I look in the mirror eye all dry,
I often wonder is it easy to die?
I lift the bread knife,
No emotion shown,
I slit my wrists,
Right Down to the bone.

I feel no pain as the blood drips down,
It stains my white, tainted, wedding gown.

I lift my arm and watch the blood drip down
And laugh manically at what I have done.

I stand up arm out straight and splatter crimson juice,
Over the white walled room.

I pause for a second and think out loud,

"I HATE YOU ALL!"

A large black darkness,
Fills me inside,
Did I just faint, did I just fall,
Or did I give in to it all?

I wake up looking at a shrill white ceiling,
Whispers can be heard not so far.

"Where am I?" I manage to whimper,
"In a hospital." a loud, brash that shouted, twas so sinister.

I turn my head slowly, drugged up inside,
Father was smiling at me arm all mangled.

I raised my arm feebly and looked at my wrist,
Not a slice, I must have missed.

I did not see my adult hand,
but the hand of a child,
Did I dream of my gone wild?