Remorse : Dry Rot

i've been wanting to try Oc 1 for AGES. The reason i couldn't try it was b/c its not Mac compatible. and a Mac's what i got! ><;;;;;; Oh well....the advantages weigh out the disadvantages with a mac...but I'm working on my mom's OLD Dell laptop now in bed. Cuz I'm sick....and the other day i realized i could do this. SO I downloaded a bunch of awesome non mac compatible programs to this computer. And, since i AM sick and stayed home all day, i sat here fiddling with Oc 1, and this is what I got. Influenced by my physical condition, mental condition, AND an event that happened at school yesterday, which i will now explain:

Yesterday, I was on a field trip with Kori, there was a horrible car accident on the road that passes the from of school. It was during one of the lunch hours and involved three seniors. I'm not sure what happened, but my brother heard that they got impatient behind a slow driving car and attempted to speed around it, and the news paper said that from there they lost control and crashed into a telephone pole and a big dumpster filled with concrete. Two students dead, one in critical condition. One of then was even airlifted out of the scene. And the entire school was in a state of mourning today. So I'm kinda glad I didn't go...They even canceled Sports Day....which i WOULD have attended this Saturday to face paint...But everything was canceled...And this one kid who went on the trip with us, one or more of his friends were in that car, and after he hd heard about it, I heard he was crying. And he's a big guy.

And when I really thought about it...The sense of impending doom came over me.....and now I'm feeling the incredibly lonely and scared. I had a nightmare last night were the school was taken over by an alien species and treated like Jews in concentration camps. We were stripped of our clothing, fed virtually nothing, and we were randomly selected to be taken apart and experimented upon. And sometimes even forced to watch it. The one scene that still lingers with me, is one in the middle of the dream were Kori and I were forced to view the torture and dismantling of one of her favorite teachers. We were looking at if from behind a large window, like the kind you look through to an interrogation room. And it smelt of rotting flesh, shit, and sweat. And it was dark...And I felt so small....so pathetic.....so mortal being able to do nothing but hold Kori and shield her eyes from the horror.

art (c) me