Hiding
Under a snow white
Mask.
Muffling All
I wish to say,
Hiding All
Emotion.
Nobody
Has noticed
That
To peel our masks off
To reveal
To others,
We must work together.
I look up,
Your thumb
Slides
Under my chin
Under the mask,
Finally
You tear it off,
Gazing
Into my eyes as
It falls to the floor.
The imagery is good, but the spacing of the lines gives reading a choppy feeling.
Longer lines would give the piece a more unified feel; more complete.
Comments
theatrekid78 Says:
again, it's another one of your amazingly amazing poems that i'll never be able to write something that is as good, which makes me awesome.
death to pink Says:
yayz! masks!
I like!
Nightstar Says:
Wow! Congratulations on the feature!
macho sok Says:
I got your poem to be featured :)!
pbjplatypus Says:
Beautiful... I most definitely got a metaphor for the human race...
totorofan Says:
congrats on the feature~! and what a lovely piece~
windychan11 Says:
Nanook Says:
The imagery is good, but the spacing of the lines gives reading a choppy feeling.
Longer lines would give the piece a more unified feel; more complete.
cracker27 Says:
This is deep and made me think of how many people would love to be the author of such a great piece of writing.
Dratha Says:
May i ask how long it took you to write this poem?