The Violin

Your heart is like the sound of a solo violin
Whether that violin is playing a soft, gentle tune all to itself, or letting out a woeful cry
I can tell only by looking at you, or seeing those soulful eyes
That you are hurting
But even when the song is sad, that violin always sounds so beautiful.

You look at me with love and emotion ineffable
And I hear that violin, even now
One lingering note of this melody brings me to my knees,
Never in my life have I heard music so lovely.

Your one sound is the softest in all the world
Other instruments drown you out in their crescendos, and you are never heard
But here in this silent room, I hear your gentle hymn.

As you look back at me, the violin's sweet cry increases in volume
And quivers with a sweet, quiet joy
So peaceful and loving, it echoes on forever
Lingering on long after its instrument is gone.

So deeply, my heart is pierced
The entire world seems to move through me
This one song makes me part of something greater than myself
And greater than the world
For never again will I feel this close to Heaven.

Let the cry of my own heart's voice swell and rise with yours in song
For you are my Only
I would never feel so worthy of this duet
If you hadn't made me part of you.

I will hear this music forever
And so will I love you, my One
Long after life has come to an end
For always you will play me this eternal hymn
On your one violin.

'Lazy BG Illustration' by SonicRocksMySocks

Description

Mar 14th 2008

Tags:: general kylee romance sonicrocksmysocks
Views:: 621
Comments:: 15
Score:: 4
Favorites:: 9

I know I never post literature, and this doesn't even follow iambic pentameter or rhyme

But I was listening to the October Sky soundtrack (best movie ever)

And I was inspired to write.

Comments

MidoriEyes Says:

I like stanza 4, probably b/c of word choice. :) I used to write tons of poetry in high school, and I should really take it up again. It used to be such a creative outlet for me.

NagaiKami Says:

you wrote a song?

giFtie Says:

Lovely :]

Shadow Dinosaur Says:

:) Nice work. I agree with Giftie.

JediNinja Says:

yeah, it's not rythmic but, i thing if you work on it, this could be a cool song. you got the feelings you wanted to communicate in teh song and thats the most important step.

Shady Says:

Wow. This was very nice. I enjoyed it.

lol I rarely do literature too. http://www.sheezyart.com/view/1714480/

DrThallium Says:

For one who does not do literature very often, you definitely have the desire in yourself that is well reflected in this poem. I hold the belief that while a Rhyme Scheme is lovely, and if one can craft it to their benefit, then have at it, but it is not the be all and end all of all poetry. The poet laureate of the USA writes free-verse like your poem, so I see no problem here.

If you decide to do more poetry, I highly encourage it, and would love to read more of your work. I only have one thing that might enhance your future works. Your title is straight forward and lovely, and since you have already placed the image in the reader's mind, you might not even need to say "violin" as many times as you do (though the usage in the last sentence was spot on). Now that you have the experience, you might want to branch out a little into ways of hinting at the title without saying it? That is more of an exercise in imagery development, but something that might help hone your craft just a little bit more.

Overall, wouldn't change a thing in this. These are your words, and anything I say is pure speculation and meant to help your future works. The fact that you were inspired to express yourself in this medium is truly admirable, and I hope my words are encouragement for you to continue at this branch of your artistic expression.

1 Reply

Wanderer Kori Says:

I have the irrepressable urge to record it. It's like I can read it, and yet, in my head, everything is silenced. Except for the way I hear these words. It's truly amazing the way that you express yourself.