Crawling

by Eccentric

in Works in Progress

Crawling

It was a dark, cold night. The snow crackled beneath her feet and a strong wind blew through her hair. The sky was so clouded, you couldn’t see the stars. The moon was only a thin crescent and hardly noticeable. The only light came from the flickering street lanterns that cast a spooky light on her face. She blinked her eyes once and held her hand against her forehead, to prevail herself from being blinded. Her nose was red from the cold and her eyelashes were frozen. She had no idea why she was here and what she was doing. There was nobody here but her. The quiet place made her feel uncomfortable.

Suddenly the lights burst out and the wind began to howl. She froze and her eyes widened out of fear. Nailed to the ground, she felt a cold presence near her. She looked around and checked the ground. And when she looked up again, it was there. Like it was fired at her, a white figure grabbed her shoulders and screamed in her face. Out of fear, she screamed along with it and tried to pull herself away from it. The figure seemed to dislike the sound of her screaming and the volume of her voice and disappeared again in the fog. The girl’s screaming echoed for a few seconds before it became awfully quiet again.

He listened carefully and looked around again. The screaming had just stopped and he just couldn’t find the place where it was coming from. It was like it came from every direction and it sounded like the screaming of a girl. So he wasn’t alone out here, he thought. He decided that waiting was useless and he continued his search.
It slowly became foggy and he decided to quicken his step. Eventually he couldn’t see a thing and stopped walking. He hoped the fog would disappear, because right now it was useless to continue. Suddenly the wind started howling and he seemed frozen with fear. He felt is heartbeat raise and knew something terrible was coming. His eyes flashed from left to right to see what was coming right at him.

But without any warning he was smacked to the ground, flat on his face. He tried to get up again but something kept pressing him down, like an invisible weight. A few white, ghostlike appearances floated around his body. It looked like they were dancing, laughing and having fun. Their loud and horrible laughing kept pounding through his head and hurting his ears. He felt his heart was slowly filling with despair.

She firmly pressed her hands against her ears, but the loud and evil laughing was already inside her head, draining the little hope she had left. Then she panicked and started running, in vain she was trying to flee from the feeling that was crawling inside her body and that was searching his way through her veins. Without knowing where she was going she fled inside a corridor. She kept on running and running, not knowing she wasn’t getting any further. When she got tired, she stopped running and looked at the wall before her. There was a crack in the upper left, all the way down to the lower left, that at the end split in two. She recognized the crack, she already passed it five times. And uncomfortable feeling was saying she was running around in circles. She shook her head. That was impossible, she didn’t pass the entrance even once while running. It couldn’t just disappear like that, could it?
She decided to turn around and walk all the way back, but eventually she found herself face to face with the same crack again. Slowly she was starting to panic again and she was on the edge of freaking out. She started screaming an slamming the wall as hard as she could. Even though she knew it would be useless. After slamming a few times, she came to her senses again. She decided to check the wall on more cracks and maybe a weak spot. While walking the same circle again, the passage seemed to get smaller and at the end she almost had to push herself through the walls. Then she started to realize, the space between the walls was getting smaller. And fast.

Description

Feb 22nd 2008
Tags:
boy cold ghosts girl mystery night nightmare
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Woohoo, I'm submitting something! Yes, it as a rare thing because I'm busy and lazy at the same time? Yes, children, at the same time. At school we're preparing for another test week and the finals and at home I want to rest, but also want to work at my fantasy story. I don't know how many people already saw my forum topic, but I said I'd maybe translate an old piece of writing, so that people could judge my English.

So, here it is! The story is originally longer, but I though this would be enough of an example. If some people are interested though, I could always translate the rest!
The story is called crawling and was inspired on a remix version of the song Crawling, by Linkin Park. I so love that song, the first time hearing it gave me goose bumps, but I love it!

Please, don't hold back on critics. But, I only want critics about my English and not about the contents. I wrote it 2 years ago or so

Thanks for reading!

Comments

miragecat Says:

wow, awesome! very descriptive too!