fantasy story for English language coursework

by MonkeyBoy

in Completed Works

< 'random doodle page' by MonkeyBoy

fantasy story for English language coursework

He peered over the edge towards the ground below. It seemed a long distance away and he didn't want to know how far it was to fall. Small figures shifted in all directions on the ground below, seemingly ants. Craters cut deep into the surface, a lingering reminder of what once was an endless ocean.
He let out a small sight that could scarcely be heard over the billowing sails that flailed uncontrolably in all directions as the wind caught them. Freeing himself from the memories of past times, he turned slowly leaning back on the side of the boat.
Men darted in all directions in front of him, tugging at ropes or rapidly scrubbing the floors, all in desperate hope of keeping busy. Some distance above, a man shouted down from the crow's nest on top of the mast, giving orders as to which way they should be going. He stood still watching the almost ritualistic display that was set out before him.
After a while one of the men approached him, his head hung low, almost cowering in the man's presence.
"Captain..." the man began in a weak voice as the captain's piecing gaze fell upon him. Clearing his throat he continued "...We're being followed"
The captain stared blankly, almost lost within a trance of thought. His eyesglistened as he spun round and strode off towards the back of the boat, quickly pulling a travel telescope from his pocket and scanning the endless sky that lay out before him.
"Any ideas who it is?" the captain replied smoothly as he searched the horizon for any signs of the oncoming ship.
"As of yet we can only guess..." the man replied quickly, in relief of the captain's suprisingly cheerful mood. "But i think it could be General Smith's ship, he's been hunting you ever since you raided his stores..."
A silence hung between them as the captain stood deep in thought, folding the telescope in on itself and replacing it within his left pocket. He leant forward and leant on the side of the boat, watching the silhouette of a ship grow in the distance. He turned slowly and gave a nod to the man who waited nervously behind him.
"We make a stand then, get the cannons ready...if we can, we'll try to suprise them" the man nodded to show he understood and hurried off to carry out the captain's orders.
The captain let out a sigh and pushed off from the side of the boat, standing up straight and looking once more across the horizon before turning and walking across the half-scrubbed floors. The scene before him seemed even more hectic as men rushed in all directions pushing cannons into position. As he passed them they all offered a small bow of the head to which he replied the same.
"Watch out!" someone shouted sharply in a tone of unmistakable panic as they dived from the safety of the crow's nest. Within seconds the mast was torn apart as a cannonball shot through the air, unreletingly demolishing anythign in its path. the mast let out a tremendous wait as it gave way under its own weight, weakened by the attack. the captain dove out of the way as the mast crashed onto the deck and spun quickly, looking out to the endless sky, scanning it carefully. Hidden within the clouds, the shape of a ship started to emerge. The captain cursed under his breath as he ran about, renewing his orders to deal with the new threat that had come to light. the men began to load cannons, scrambling furiously to fire them as soon as they could. The captain watched as the men all opened fire into the shrouded enemy.

Description

Feb 16th 2008
Tags:
fantasy general pirate
Views:
114
Comments:
4
Score:
1
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2
A story i wrote for my first piece of original writing in AS level english.

I focused mainly on description for this piece seeing as im quite bad in the other areas i guess, anywho enjoy ^^

Thanks to for the idea ^^

Comments

DesLacoda Says:

Pretty good, you'll get decent marks for this I beleive..although if you haven't noticed it yet. you wrote sight instead of sigh near the top, just an FYI.

Regulus Says:

Pretty nice, I thought "wow cool" to myself when I realised they were air pirates (I didn't quite grasp it from the description at the beginning lol), I liked it.

Just a few things :
"He leant forward and leant on the side of the boat" can that be "leant forward onto the side of the boat" to avoid repetition?

You've put 'anythign' instead of 'anything' at the beginning of the cannonball appearance.

Xoryn Says:

I demand sky ninjas!

TigerUna Says:

This one's really good, I really like this story ^^ The idea's just.. so damn cool! You going to more about this story or something?