what i learned at school

what i learned at school

“The death of one is a tragedy, the death of a million’s just a statistic.* I proceeded to create as many statistics as humanly possible”
-Joseph Stalin

“When I was five I wanted to be a cook, age six Napoleon* age seven Kurt Cobain, my aspirations have been rising ever since.”
-Salvador Dalí

“We Italians will be forgotten as the bad guys of World War II!”
-Benito Mussolini, When trying to justify joining Hitler


“I want to be cool forever”
-Julius Caesar, Right before he walked into the Senate to get stabbed in the back literally

“I will be the greatest person to ever live!!”
-Alexander the Greatest Person to Ever Live, After the conquest of India

“Why did Samuel Adams and some other people dressed but as Native Americans throw my tea into the Boston Harbor?”
-The Captain of the tea boat, On that fateful day when the Colonies threw a big hissyfit.

“Lee Harvey Oswald ruined my favorite dress”
-Jacqueline Kennedy, After the firing stopped

“Mother never meant to be so high*”
-Misses Pink Floyd’s Mother, Pink Floyd
“Mother”
The Wall

“Take me down to the paradise City/ where the girls are fat and they got big titties*”
-Guns’n’Roses, The real chorus to “Paradise City”

“Dylan, remember aim for the heads when we go into the school”
-Eric, Right before the Columbine Massacre

“I just crashed and realized I married Courtney Love”
- Kurt Cobain, Right before the Shot-Gun Mouthwash

“I wanna be like David Bowie and Kiss only heavier and with weirder stage shows”
-Little Brian Hugh “Marilyn Manson” Warner, when he first thought up Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids

“I didn’t kill anybody I’m just racist and wanted a family”
-Charles Manson right before they convicted him

“Adam, Eve, Able, and Cain never call me any more.”
-God

“RAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR”
-The dinosaurs right before they all died out

“Adolf you promised to take me someplace nice for our honey moon, not commit suicide and burn our bodies”
-Ava Braun, Right before the “Honey Moon”

“Time to take the record for school shootings”
Seung-Hui “Vtech shooter” Cho, Before he killed himself but after he started shooting (Asians still have the record)

* an actual quote