Grapefruit Boulevard Chapter 1.8

Grapefruit Boulevard Chapter 1.8

"But... uh..." said Sergio, "You can't quit because you're like, bored. It's not in the spirit of the game."

Renzo quickly glanced at Brenton and Bern, both in slumber. "...No offense, man? I think you're the only one that's gonna mind." He dropped himself on the game mat. Sergio untwisted himself and stood straight up.

"Huh. ...Well, I guess I won." He stepped towards the kitchen table and claimed his prize: the final marshmallow pie. Unfortunately, unlike the final countdown, it did not have any synthesizer-based musical accompaniment. Sergio sank his teeth into it and its fluffy sugary goodness.

"Uh..." mumbled the barely-awake Renzo, "Sergio?"

"Yeah?" replied Sergio, his snack in the far corner of his mouth.

"You know you're eatin' the wrappa too, right?"

"I am?" Sergio looked at the half-eaten confection he held in his hand. It was, indeed, not properly unwrapped.

Renzo nodded weakly.

"Groovy." Sergio continued eating the pie, wrapper and all.

Now, before we continue on with the story, I feel compelled to include a little health and safety warning. Plastic is not a healthy or nutritious nighttime snack. I know this may be surprising to you. I mean, shouldn't these characters all be perfect role-models? Shouldn't they be examples of how I should behave? Well, they aren't. Everyone has their flaws, and people that eat plastic are no exception. And, you know, littering's bad too. It makes nature looks even uglier than your mother's face.

Anyway, sorry for that digression. It just seems like it's more productive to //do// something during a time lapse than simply saying "Sergio soon drifted off to sleep, and time passed until morning."

Sergio soon drifted off to sleep, and time passed until morning. In his dreams, he had wondrous and fantastic visions of leaving his body and the world in which he was behind. This wasn't really anything special, though. Sergio had gotten good enough to make it happen. Dreaming is a game of skill, and victory is boundlessly sweet. Of course, another sweet thing was that marshmallow pie from earlier. Coincidence? Absolutely.

He awoke the next morning. THe calm air currents and temperate climate seemed to indicate that he was indoors, but it was dark. "Dude..." he thought, "Did it work? Where am I?" He cautiously stood himself up and began feeling around with his hands. It was mostly empty space, but he soon found something. Something large, rotund, and a little slimy. Sergio mentally noted the following to himself:

"Star Date: 2136.9.36.

"I've encountered, like, some sort of alien dude. I can't, like, see it or anything, but... you know. He's all... slimy. I think I'm gonna, like, engage him using the necessary combat protocols. Backup from the Trade Federation is officially requested.

Ensign Sergio Maritime, over and out."

Sergio pulled his right arm back and concentrated. Of course, he had never practiced any martial arts before. His confidence relied on an old Chinese adage: "One must learn Kung Fu so he does not have to use Kung Fu." Sergio already didn't have to use Kung Fu, so it logically follows that he must have already learned it. He launched his hand forward, in the form of a Tranquil Lotus Palm, into the as-of-yet unidentified life form.

Incidentally, it didn't hurt that much. The moved named after a flower and a state of peace wasn't actually very painful. Who could've guessed?

However, it did cause the mysterious creature to stir, shake, and mumble, like some sort of metaphorical batch of boiling spaghetti noodles. Sergio could not see it, but it was awake. It was big. It was intelligent. but, moreover, it was hungry. In what seemed like an eternity, it gradually opened its wide jaws...

...And said, "Mmm... Morning already?"

Sergio recognized the voice. It sounded like Bern. It was Bern. Sergio was still in his own house. Disappointing, huh?