The Missing Turtle

The Missing Turtle

The Missing Turtle





All right, so this is my mystery story. Yay. All right, for starters, my character's name is Millie Krumbnaar. Don't even ask me how to pronounce that. I just threw a bunch of letters together and that's what I got. Okay, so Millie lives in Manhattan. Fun little place. She has no siblings and her parents don't even make an appearance. Her best friend's name is Erin. Erin is pretty darn stupid, as you will notice. So I guess that's all I really have to say, so I'm going to start the dumb story now.



“HEEEEERRRRBBBIIIIEEEEE!!!” I screech, dancing across the room, holding a carrot in one hand and some lettuce in the other. “Special Herbie!” I coo, staring into the tank at my turtle. He blinks at me. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I put the vegetables on his heat rock and he slowly moves towards it. “Yay! Dinner for Herbie!”

Herbie is awesome. Turtles rock. Herbie likes me and only me. Well, he kind of likes my friend Erin, too. But Erin is too dumb to do anything to annoy him. If anyone else tries to touch Herbie, they shall face his turtle-y wrath.

*Yawn* I'm tired. I better go to bed. I have school tomorrow. More school…7 hours of learning about irrelevant little things that will just take up valuable brain space. Why we can't just learn about turtles and video games all day is beyond me. I asked my algebra teacher once, and she says that it's a waste of time to teach us about stuff that's “not useful later in life.” Whatever, it's totally useful. What if I want to be a turtle farmer? Huh? Yeah, that's what I thought. All this thinking is making me tired. Ugh, I'm going to sleep.



Alarm clocks suck. I hate that infernal buzzing. Some day I'm going to travel across country, mallet in hand, smashing all the alarm clocks into little pieces, and there will be peace on earth again. *Lets out delighted sigh and stares dreamily off into space* Blah. I don't have the time right now. I crawl out of bed and groggily shuffle to the bathroom. I use the toilet, brush my teeth, and wash my face… typical morning type stuff. Or evening type stuff if you're nocturnal.

I go back to my room and sit on the bed. I am so tired. I need to wake up. I put a CD in the stereo and turn it up all the way. I'm not even sure what I put in. We'll just have to wait and see…

♪ Can you hear the drums, Fernando? I remember long ago another starry night like this… ♪

ABBA?!?! I put in an ABBA CD?!?! Argh, whatever. As long as it's loud. I stand up and walk to my closet, singing along.

♪ There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando…♪

I pick up Herbie and give him a little kiss. We twirl around the room to the music. I open my closet and look at my clothes. I decide to wear a black and plaid mini skirt. It works for me; I am quite punk.

I dig in my dresser drawer for a shirt. I pull out a hot pink t-shirt with the anarchy symbol on it. I'm really into the whole concept of anarchy. I think we should overthrow the president and let the country be ruled by cool people…like yours truly. And Herbie, of course. And turtle soup shall be illegal! No turtle eating, hunting, shelling, racing, or anything else that could be harmful to the oh-so-loveable reptiles.

I change into my lovely ensemble and admire myself in the mirror.

Whoo. Now it's time to accessorize! I put on a pair of purple fishnets. Pretty colors. My arms are all scarred and nasty from a bizarre fight with a rosebush, so I put on a pair of elbow length fingerless gloves. My earrings are big silver hoops. Ah, shiny and good. I feel pretty. I pull on my knee- high leather boots with all sorts of zippers and snaps and buckles. They take forever and a day to put on, but they too are shiny, therefore I am happy.

I go downstairs and eat a banana for breakfast. Bananas are my friends. I open the door and-holy colors! It's a parade! Yay! Balloons and floats and shiny things! Yay! Oh no. I have to go to school. Gurr.



AHHHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOD!!! HERBIE!!! He's gone! Yeah, Erin and I came home from school, adorned in feathers and glitter (the drag queens in the parade were very nice). Well, I was going to put some glitter on Herbie, but HE'S GONE!!! AAHHH!!! Whatever shall I do? Erin is sitting on the floor writing a song about him:

♪ Oh Herbie- you are gone; we are so sad. We are sad, we are not glad. We are not mad, but we are sad. Not glad or mad, but we are sad.♪

I told you she was an idiot.

I am panicking. I am so freaked that when Mom offered to take us to dinner, I said no. She even said she'd take us to my favorite restaurant, Chow Meow (a Chinese place with a cat for a logo).

I'm so sad. Erin and I were supposed to stay up all night watching scary movies and playing violent video games, but I am having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, so I am going to bed. Erin can fend for herself.



I woke up, I went back to bed. Woke up, went back to bed. Woke up- and figured I'd better stay up. Erin is still sleeping, so I quietly change into jeans and a black sweatshirt with turtles on it. Ah crap, that reminds me-

“HERBIE!!!” I shriek. Erin wakes up with a start and glares at me, then makes an inappropriate finger gesture. “Get your lazy butt out of bed so we can FIND MY FLIPPIN' TURTLE!!!” I scream. She silently crawls out of bed. She pulls on a pair of shorts and a really cute Sailor Moon… “That's my shirt you thief!” I yell.

“You borrowed it to me!” she snaps. I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, I'm sure. You stole it. And…oh my god, you must've stolen Herbie, too!

“Why would I steal your retarded turtle?!”

Uh, retarded? Did she just call Herbie retarded? Next thing I know, I'm flying across the room, wrestling Erin to the ground.

“Herbie is not retarded, you *bleep*ing *bleep*!”

“Get off! Get off!”

“Gimme back my *bleep* turtle!” I whack her in the head, then let her go. She growls.

“All right, all right. When's the last time you saw Herbie?”

“Sir Herbie,” I correct. That's not his actual name, but I'm mad at Erin and she should show some respect.

“Okay, Sir Herbie…” she continues.

“The Great,” I say. “Sir Herbie the Great.” She stares at me.

“Okay, when's the last time you saw your turtle?”

I think for a moment. “Yesterday morning…” I retrace my steps in my mind. Hmm…got up, went to the bathroom, put in a CD…I start to sing the song Fernando. Maybe it'll trigger something. Hmm…I picked up Herbie, danced with him, went to the closet, and…”Holy crap!” I scream. Erin's face lights up.

“I've got it! Someone named Fernando took your turtle!”

“No…” I say, running to the closet. I open the door and lo and behold- “HERBIE!!!”

Erin stands up and runs over. I pick up Herbie and give him a kiss on the shell. I can't believe I left him in the closet. Shame, shame. Erin smiles. Yay!



I wake up Sunday morning and see a box next to my bed. Peering into it, I see a little turtle. Huh? There's a note:

Hey girl-

So happy you found Herbie. Well, just `cause I awesome and totally nice, I go a friend for Herbie. Be nice to him. His name is Dale.

-Erin

Cool! Today is going to be my official turtle day. Dale and Herbie and I are going to spend all day having super turtle-y fun! Yay! Turtles rock!!!

The End