Vampire of Mine CH. 5

Vampire of Mine CH. 5

I sat quietly on the edge of my bed and listened for something, anything to break the silence. It felt like it had been forever since I'd seen Jesse. I didn't know if he was mad at me, Elliot, or himself. Perhaps he was mad at all of us. Though I was decently sure it was me. I'd been trying for weeks to understand what I'd done wrong. My head snapped up at the sudden crack. I looked up to see Jesses glaring at the latch on my window. I wanted to smile. I couldn't.

He eventually got my window open and crawled through it, onto my bed. He shut the window and sat at the farthest distance he could from me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. My voice sounded weak and confused, but I couldn't change that. I was gripping the edge of the bed until it hurt and I still couldn't keep myself from crying.

"Sorry?" He seemed genuinely confused. "What could you possibly be sorry for?" He groaned and pulled me into his lap. "You know how difficult this is?" I shook my head.

"No, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm sorry. I should be sorry. I have every reason to be sorry. Everything is my fault. like you said, I make thi-" II couldn't understand why I could barely hear myself for the minute it took for me to notice that he had his fingers in my mouth.

"Good, you're quiet." He chuckled. "Now, let me explain. You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything I should apologize..." I yanked his fingers out of my mouth.

"You?! You've done absolutely nothing!"

"That's exactly why I should be sorry. I didn't do anything. I should have and I didn't. I should have walked away, but I didn't. Then I tried to make it right, and as I can see I think I made it worse. What am I going to do with you?" He wiped his fingers on his pants and sighed.

"I'm...confused..."

"Of course you are. You don't seem to get it at all. Why aren't you afraid of me, what I am? You should be. But, you're not. I can't understand that. I can't live with that."

"you WANT me to be afraid of you?" I asked. He had me seriously confused about what he wanted. He'd had me confused since I met him.

"In a sense, yes, I do. Not because I want you to run away from me. I mean I do, it would be better that way. I like having you around though. You're very entertaining, little miss clumsy." He smiled and poked my nose. I couldn't help but smile back.

"But, if you want me to go. I mean you only have to ask." I said softly. "I'd go if you asked me to."

"I know you would, and I don't want that. It's all very confusing. I mean, you never even noticed that Elliot bit you. That doesn't seem right. It's like you have an extreme tolerance for...us...I'm afraid of what I might do without thinking, and if you can't bring me back to my senses because you wouldn't really take notice. I'd hate myself for it." He hugged me and I buried my face in his neck.

"Is that what you're really worried about?" I asked. "Or are you afraid I wouldn't care if you did?"

He pulled away from me and sighed. " You're smarter than I give you credit for. Yes, that is part of it." I started to protest, and he put his hand up to silence me. "IT's only because I know you couldn't handle it. Sometimes I think you don't know your limits. I do. You're human. Even more fragile than most humans. It would be dangerous. I'm not sure you want that anyway."

"What if I said I do?"

"The answer is no. It's not necessary. You don't know what you're getting yourself into. I know you. In a week you'd be begging for me to take it back, and what could I do? Nothing. Do you know how much that would kill me?"

"I wouldn't do that." I said, on the verge of tears again.

"You're saying that now, but you're 16, things change. People enter your life and they leave just as quickly."

"No, don't say that. I know it's not like that." He hugged me again and sighed.

"Alright, fine. I want you to think about this."

"I've been thinking about it since I was 7." I shrugged, "I know what I want."

"Of course you do." He chuckled. "Just meet me in the middle here, alright?" He kissed cheek and I turned to guide him where'd I'd rather he kiss me. He laughed and obliged. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck. My reaction seemed to please him and he moved on to my neck. I groaned in disappointment until his kisses started to take their toll. I guess I'd missed him more than I'd originally thought. I missed him more when he pulled away.

"Alright. You go to sleep. It's late." he sighed.

"Haven't you been gone long enough?" I whined.

"Yes. I feel like I have, but I don't want to get shot. Your father does have a bit of a temper..."

"Oh, that. Alright."

" I'll see you tomorrow evening at the field again, ok?" I nodded in reply. "Good." He slipped out my window again and dropped to the ground.

"Tomorrow." I whispered and fell back on my pillow. Sleep consumed me quickly, as did pleasant dreams.