::Red Balloon::

by cellieruru

in Completed Works

< '::Starlight::' by cellieruru

::Red Balloon::

You bought me a red balloon
Gave it to me at half-past noon
The sun was shining, the sky was blue;
The birds were singing and I was, too

The whole day you walked with me,
The red balloon we held between,
Not really caring where we strode--
The balloon told us where to go

That night you bent down, gave me a kiss
And tied tight the balloon to my wrist
Together we promised that we’d meet
At a place where waves lap our feet

The next day I waited, balloon in hand
Sitting in the soft, warm sand
Holding tight to my one little dream
The one that means the world to me

Time passed by, you never came
I stayed there ‘til the waves were tame
I cried and wondered on that golden dune
Where was the boy who gave me my red balloon?

The next morning I let it go;
Where it went, I’ll never know
But every so often it floats through the sky--
That little red balloon of mine.

> '::Hinata::' by cellieruru

Description

Jul 8th 2007
Tags:
angst balloon experimental human nature narrative red romance youth
Views:
69
Comments:
11
Score:
8
Favorites:
6
This is for 's contest...the theme was 'balloon' and my mind immediately whizzed to the song 99 Red Balloons by Goldfinger (awesome lyrics, by the way). So...yeah. This was inspired by those lyrics.

The preview pic was a quick wierd thing done on Crayola.

Comments

elle Says:

Great story imagery in here--those first two stanzas had a great happy atmosphere, and then it tuned down to sad, and maybe a bit nonchalant. I liked the ebb and flow.

HolyCheesecakes Says:

very beautiful poem reminds me of the song. (sings 99 Red Ballons) the rhyming is very smooth and the last stanza just got me great job!!!

moodylynn Says:

the lyrics work so well i want to sing it

*sings*

AngelsWing Says:

Thank you for depressing Natalie's Day
Please leave a message after the tone:
*BEEP*
I'm sorry, your session is over, please make another appointment with the receptionist on the way out....

Der Sensenmann Says:

D'aww. Very sweet.
There were a couple of lines where you could've worded better, i.e. "And tied tight the balloon to my wrist
"
could have been "And tied the balloon tight to my wrist" to produce a better flow.
Over all, very nice, and good job with the rhyming.

martysexylegs Says:

aww i love it and it is very humbling to me that is- and i would so buy her another red balloon

Shutaboy Says:

You did this when you were in a good mood?

yumeri29 Says:

what a poem... this is one of the great poems that i've been amaze and feel the essence of the message of the writer.. ^^

SapphireLimeLight99 Says:

I love it.
My name on most websites is 99luftbalons, based off the original song by Nena.

iayujay Says:

Oh! Finally, FINALLY, a poem worth front page.
Anyhow. This is such a sweet, sad little poem.