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Days at the wammys
"Hey Leo," Said the young silivered hair girl looking at the misty bridge. "Yes Rikku?"
muttered the young teen. "Why it there someone sitting there, You think he is going to jump of the bridge?"asked Rikku "What boy ? "Said Leo
"
"Rikku! Rikku!! Wake up you lazy ass!"
"Wake up !!"
"Huh?" the sleepy girl rubbed her eyes and caught site of her attacked.
"What Mello?"she rolled her groggy eyes. "Obviously,Leo told me to wake you up." said the blonde. "Why?"Rikku questioned sleepily. "Because, now lets go. Leo is going to take us somewhere today." said Mello. "Fine,lemme write down something first?" Rikku asked. "Fine, lazy ass #1." mutter Mello teased. Rikku snarled and threw her pilow at him."OUT!" she yelled. Mello caught the pillow and threw it back at her and left.
Rikku sighed as she took out a black book with a red "R" on it.
Rikku turned to the first page and thought "This is going to be the frist page. What a drag to keep a freakin diary."
Dear diary ,
I had the wierdest dream ever. I think I dreamed of the first time when I saw a ghost ......nah it couldn't be. Ghost , yeah whatever. Well ever since that day Iwas told to write my every thought and feelings in this book. Leo said the I was imaging things and I am starting to believe him. I was pretty scared of that the first time though but Ihave gotten over it. Mello has been my only friend for eer since I stayed here. I was able to tell him anything and he was able to tell me anything too but he is starting to get to obessed about the heir to L thing, and then he takes me like enemy each time we compete on tests. Well I had to put something in here instead of that dream.
Also I wonder were Leo (mellow and my care taker) is going to take us today.
What a drag... I will have to write more soon
-Rikku
"Rikku! Hurry up !" Yelled Leo "Everyone is waiting for you"
"Okay...Okay I am going" Rikku with no exictment.
Mello smiled as he had waited for her to come down. "Man, that girl has no motivevation in her. "Why is she ssoooo Lazy?" asked Leo
"Probaly you made her mad some how." "Nah, she was always this lazy from the start but she said that if she gets the title of L she will give it to me." Said Mello with a smirk.
"Yeah but she a has to compete against Near and I don't think she will like that" Said Leo.
Finally Rikku came down in a baggy pants and long but tight t-shirt. She wore a light blue jakect and her hair was in a bun, like normal.
"Finally!" Mello yelled.
She smirked at him and muttered "You really need to stop yelling!"
Mello smirked back and said "Then hurry up next time ,Loser , or you are getting no sushi."
Rikku's eyes widened.
S-sushi?
Rikku sighed. "Fine,but you better have some next time!" "Fine."Mello agred maliciouscly. "You guys are SUCH a pain, waking up this early." she mumbled.
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Comments
DickTater Says:
I honestly don't know what to say to that except..... Yeah that's a No.
bexTan Says:
This is good work! Keep up the good work~
-ignore about that person -DickTater-... T. T
I say it's... a YES!!
Well done.
Czaren Says:
yes, ignore it lol!
hehee!goes great with ze red color.! 
i think it looks pretty good!
StarGazerAngel Says:
To be honest, it does need a bit of work. You need new paragraphs for each quote of speech, and perhaps doing a small spellcheck (there wasn't much wrong, just a few words here and there). Grammar aside, you need to get more descriptive. It sounds more like you're writing the dialogue for a play rather than a story. More description in how people look, the emotions in their voices when they speak, their inner feelings. There's always more going on that just what is being said. Also, what is this a fan-fiction of? You need to credit exactly where it's from and exactly what it's a fan-fiction of. Just giving credit to "owners" doesn't really credit anyone at all.
So, I am going to vote No. I think it's a good start, but you need to build up more development and description. So, it's not No because I don't like it. It's No because I don't think it's ready to be on the frontpage yet.
Lord Welshi Says:
Interesting. I must say though, it reads a little more like a script than a full piece of literative prose. Not a bad start, but could use some more descriptions. But there is deinitely potential there.
sakirahowlin Says:
YEa!
it was suppose to be a fan fic but i guess it could be a role play scrip or something
BluesGirlNei Says:
Yeah don't listen to that dude on the top over there! he doesn't knows what good art is!
on the other part, some descriptions on things could help, but it's really good and I like it a lot! so keep up the good work!
P.S don't be mean and give the poor Rikku her sushi!