Phoenix

In the very very old times
When the world was a newborn child
The Phoenix flew in iridescent splendour -
Red and gold and feather-plumed.

The Sun shone down on flashing wing,
Saw red-shine glory, golden splendour,
And cried, “Phoenix, you are mine!
For as long as I burn, you shall shine!”

The Phoenix flew for one thousand years,
In crimson glory and gold-shine splendour.
But as the years wore on its strength died down –
Splendid no more, glorious no more, a shadow of its newborn self.

So the Phoenix flew from the Western desert,
To the East where the Sun goes down.
There, on a beach-tree’s nodding head,
It built a nest of sweet cinnamon bark,
Lined with heavy-scented myrrh.
And in the nest it sat, and sang,
“Sun, I am yours! Make me shine as you!”

The Sun heard the Phoenix’s cry,
Chased the clouds from the sky.
In golden glory the Sun shone out,
Filling the Phoenix with red-shine splendour,
‘Til it soared to the sky,
Wings spread in glorious renewal.

The Phoenix flew for one thousand years,
In crimson glory and gold-shine splendour.
But as the years wore on its strength died down –
Splendid no more, glorious no more, a shadow of its newborn self.

So the Phoenix flew from the Western desert,
To the East where the Sun goes down.
There, on a beach-tree’s nodding head,
It built a nest of sweet cinnamon bark,
Lined with heavy-scented myrrh.
And in the nest it sat, and sang,
“Sun, I am yours! Make me shine as you!”

The Sun heard the Phoenix’s cry,
Chased the clouds from the sky.
In golden glory the Sun shone out,
Filling the Phoenix with red-shine splendour,
‘Til it soared to the sky,
Wings spread in glorious renewal.

The Phoenix flew for one thousand years…

Description

Something new; I'm not sure what you call these round-in-a-circle verses, but this is my first time with one of those. Also tried for a less concrete line-form; I noticed while studying a poem in English that the sense of the individual lines doesn't matter so much as the overall impression the poem gives you. In this particular poem no line made much sense, and it darted around between subject matters a lot, but it left you with a feeling of repulsion - appropiate, as it was about someone eating her grandchildren.

I saw a poem about the phoenix in my brother's school reading book and I was like "this would sound really good repeated, and that fits in with the phoenix"...so I wrote it. =)

Phoenix myth referenced out of The Orchard Book of The Unicorn and other Magical Animals (though I changed quite a lot), a beautifully-illustrated book that's brilliant for five to ten year olds...it doesn't just do phoenix, unicorn, dragon, but things like the naga and Quetzalcoatl...though it calls him a feathered snake...

Text © me

Comments

Nanook Says:

Repetition usually bothers me, but this is the kind I enjoy.
It's very beautiful in its simplicity.

cellieruru Says:

I really don't usually like non-rhyming poems--what's the point?--but this rhymes in it's own way.

codyla Says:

wow you sure o like the word splendor dont you? ah well i liked it, with the repitition and what not...

Smiling Devil Says:

Congratulations with the frontpage.

TamashiiKitara123 Says:

this is beautiful. Congrats one making it to the front page! ^^