Talk Is NOT Cheap

Talk Is NOT Cheap

Talk is cheap. Everyone's said it at some point. It's one of the most common phrases used in the English language. I, however, strongly disagree with that statement.

It's true. A lot can be said without speaking. Your actions and body language are powerful tools that speak volumes all of their own. Watch a person. What are they doing? What is their expression? Are they happy? Do they look sad? How do they hold their posture; Are their shoulders thrown back, or do they slouch forward? Do they look straight ahead when they walk, or do their eyes follow the ground? Do they cross their legs when they sit, sit on one leg, or are both legs straight forward? Just watching the way a person holds themself and even how they dress and what they're doing can say a lot about their personality, even their lifestyle or job. Indeed, silence can be very, very loud.

But does this mean talk is cheap?

Far from it.

Speech is a funny and fascinating thing. Most people take it for granted. For some, the art of speech is very hard. They can't bring themselves to open their mouth and let their thoughts flow from their mind. For some the idea of speaking is even a deep fear. Some people simply don't want to speak. Not by fear or inability, but by simple choice. And yet, even still, there are those that we who speak English refer to as 'chatterboxes'. The words that come are seemingly endless. Some people use their ability to speak for a living. Announcers for example, even writers are speaking in a written form. For some people speech just simply comes as naturally to them as the air we subconsciously breath for survival.

Funny, that comparison.

Breath is another thing we often take for granted, and yet, it is one of the most vital functions our body preforms. When the breathing is steady and normal, we don't even notice we're doing it. If the breathing is difficult, we struggle with our lives. If the breathing stops, we die.

Speech is a lot like that.

We consider talk to be cheap because it's such a common and automatic function. Everyone speaks. Even those who are deaf and mute communicate through sign language. Some are better at it than others, but we all do it.

The fact of the matter is, aside from whatever deity you might worship, if any, talk is the most powerful thing in existence.

How can I say that so confidently? Stop and think about it for a moment. Think about these very words I'm writing. My words have made you to click a web link and read this essay, and now my words and making you to think and wonder and either agree with or question me. My words, basically, are effecting your actions. Your actions that would have otherwise lead you to some other activity. Now think about your life for a moment. Exactly how often does this happen? Everything that you say has an effect on both you and everyone who hears it.

Say that you're hungry the next time you're out with your friends or co-workers. Most likely they're going to respond to you. Perhaps they're also hungry, they might make a suggestion on where to eat, which causes you to respond with either agreement, perhaps a suggestion of your own, or even revulsion. You have just altered each other's moods and caused a subtle change to your routines that could quite possibly impact the rest of both of your day, or perhaps even your entire lives.

Let's give another scenario. Your best friend just broke up with their significant other and they're a broken down wreck. You decide to help them. You console them, give them words of encouragement and comfort. Perhaps your words have the intention you wanted and they begin to feel better, and so you feel happy for them. Or perhaps you unintentionally strike a nerve and make them feel worse, and you begin to feel sorry. Again, your words have just altered each other's actions and moods.

Advertisement. People try to grab you with buzzwords like "WOW!" or "BIG SALE!". They try to reel you and your money in with fancy wording and presentation. Tell me you haven't picked up the phone, or walked into a shop, or clicked an online store just because you saw something you wanted was on sale. The words in that advertisement just altered your actions.

Someone spreads a rumor. They say something bad about you to someone else. If that person decides to believe them, it hurts you. A friendship could end, it could cause you to lose a job, it could break up a relationship. It could strip you of everything you have and hold dear. Why? Because of someone's words.

Recently someone said that phrase to me - "Talk is cheap". Those words altered my actions and caused me to disagree. When they prompted why, I told them how powerful I felt talk was. Immediately what I said caused him to explain that words are not comparable to the atom bomb and that you cannot use words to level Baghdad.

My response was simple; What do you think commanded the atom bomb to go off? Words. He was unable to argue with me, and so my words caused him to leave.

If talk is so cheap, why is it that it's been responsible for more fights, more wars and more death than anything else? Hitler, someone many consider the most evil man to have lived, convinced an entire country that they were superior and caused mass genocide of a race using little more than his words. And yet, we in America rely on words to elect the leader of our own country.

Every day in a courtroom someone's fate is decided using words. A divorce is settled. Child custody is given to someone. A lawsuit is lost or won. Someone is sent to prison. Someone is given the death sentence. Someone is set free. All based on the words of the defendants, prosecutors, attorneys, witnesses, judge and jury.

How can you say talk is cheap?

It's more than just the words themselves though. It's how we present them. I could say the same phrase two different ways, and each way could be interpreted completely differently. If I hurt you in some way and then told you "I'm sorry" in a normal tone of voice, you're not going to believe me, are you? Now, if I said "I'm sorry" and threw sympathy into my tone, you'd be more inclined to believe.

It's not just with verbal speech though, the same applies to written media as well, since books or the internet wouldn't be nearly as interesting and captivating otherwise. If I type using italics like this, I appear to be talking down to you, emphasizing or quoting something. If I type with my text bold, I appear to be talking forcefully. IF I TYPE USING CAPITOL LETTERS, YOU INTERPRET IT AS SHOUTING.

The choice of words and order in which you phrase them also means a lot. Look at this essay I'm writing and the way I choose to phrase my words and use of grammar. Do you interpret my voice in a robotic monotone? Or full of laughter and giggles? Of course not. You're probably 'hearing' me as if I were standing up before a group of people giving a speech, because that's exactly how I'm writing this.

Tact, charm, tone, grammar, timing, a bunch of other elements I can't for the life of me think of off the top of my head. It can mean the difference between looking like a complete idiot or jerk, or intelligent or kind. It can either repel people, or capture the entire world.

It's psychology at it's most basic level, and it's truly a form of art.

"I didn't mean to say that!" , "Let me rephrase that.", "That's not what I said.", "You're putting words in my mouth!" - If talk is so cheap, why do we bother to use phrases like that to correct ourselves? Why do we take notice of our mistakes? Why do we even care what other people think? It brings up another reason why we often say that phrase. To say that talk is cheap is an excuse for not knowing what to say, or not wanting to hear what someone has to say.

Recently I've found a new phrase that I've become rather attached to - "Challenge my reality." Every day what we say alters someone else's perception. My reality is what I think, how I feel, the way I behave. It's the person that I am. And yet every day my perception is altered by the people around me. Just by being around others I learn a little more or something new, I become a little wiser or stronger, I forget or remember something, I do or think about something I otherwise might not have. They, in effect, challenge my perception of reality, and in return I challenge theirs. I've often been referred to as a catalyst due to my abilities to inspire and provoke others - and it's an ability I'm both very proud of and very frustrated by.

I suppose the point behind all of this is that I wanted to make you stop and think about something you probably otherwise found insignificant. How deeply you contemplate what I've said is up to you. Perhaps you're going to walk away with a better understanding of words and start taking a more conscious approach to what you say. Perhaps you think I'm full of it. Feel free to challenge me if so, perhaps one of us will learn something. However you choose to interpret this, you're now going to walk away with something you didn't have before, which is the goal behind this essay. I have challenged your reality with my not so cheap talk. And bad puns. That's right, roll your eyes at me. I just made you do that, you know. Either way I'm happy.

In closing, I would like to quote something that my mother once said, as truer words are seldom spoken;

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will kill me."