'Prank' [Chapter One]

'Prank' [Chapter One]

It all started as a prank. It was just a joke.
...

A boy looking to be about the age of seventeen was walking down a fairly empty road. No cars drove down the dim-lit pavement at this time of the night, not that many people were up at this hour of their own free will in the first place. He didn't even know why he'd stayed up so late... It had been a stupid idea from the start.

He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, trying to warm himself as best as he could. The red jacket's hood was up to protect his face from the blowing wind, and he'd remembered to actually wear socks! It was that cold.

What was he doing out there so late? Walking home, of course. He'd been hanging out with friends at an old abandoned factory they'd declared their own secret meeting spot five or six years ago. It had stayed that way since.

Dmetri was the boy's name. For all those who look at the name in confusion, it's pronounced Dim-ee-tree. Now that we have that out of the way, on with the story.

Dmetri was an idiot.

He was an idiot, and he knew it. Staying out so late after having been lectured about not "hanging out with that crowd" anymore in the first place.

So what if he'd sneaked out? So what if he'd stayed out until one in the morning? So what if it was below zero and he had only his lucky red hoodie and a pair of jeans? It was all good. Being a teenager was all about rebellion, right? He had to do it when he still could.

Yes, Dmetri was truly an idiot.

Nothing too productive had gone on at their little meeting. He and his friend were always quick to get bored, and resorted to what they usually did when desperate for entertainment. Take out their "mascot," an old rifle. They'd shoot round after round at the walls, rusty cans, whatever they could find. It was nice for passing time.

Now then, didn't we already establish that Dmetri is an idiot? Good. Now I want you to possibly comprehend the indescribable void of lacked knowledge and common sense, and multiply it as many times as you can. That, in all honesty, is how bad his friends are.

He was a genius compared to his comrades... Which was probably the sole reason he was the 'leader of the pack.' That... and he bought all needed supplies. He was the only one of them that had been employed for more than three months straight, and he was still going.

Well anyway, you know how boys are. One thing lead to another; Pointless shooting turned into a game, the game turned into a competition, the competition turned into an argument which led to bets. Alas, a few flat-broke teenagers don't usually have enough of anything to feel willing enough to put it down for a bet, so their bets involved no gambling. Most would refer to such a bet as simply a "dare," but it sounded less manly by far to say "I double-dog dare you" than to say "I bet..."

Down the street from the "clubhouse" there lived a man. It would have been a funny place to have a house built, but whoever said he lived in a house? This man was well-known within Dmetri's little gang. He was the perfect target for pranks. They'd taken advantage of that more than a few times in the past.

Nobody actually knew the name of the poor guy... They always referred to him as "That Bum." Sadly enough, everyone would know exactly who they were talking about.

"That Bum" had but one possession he was never seen without. That was his hat. And old frayed top hat. Everybody thought it strange, but then again, so was everything else about him. At least his hat matched all the rest of the 'junk' he was usually wearing. The outfits changed from time to time, but they were all roughly some form of an old Victorian style.

No one really cared about or noticed the man nowadays. He never did anything to draw attention to himself. Nothing at all, actually. He was never begging, pleading, or warning people about "THE END." No, he usually just... sat there.


The last "bet" made at the clubhouse was the one that Dmetri was seeking out to do that very moment.

Steal that hat.

THE hat.

Yes, sitting around doing next to nothing had somehow evolved into stealing from the homeless. Idiocity at it's finest.

The walk from the factory to That Bum was a long one, and the one from him to town was even longer. Dmetri felt confident. No one would be around to see him do it... so he could always make the tale as elaborately awesome as he'd want.

After walking for what felt like decades, but was probably not much more than maybe an hour or two, he was finally able to see the man he was after. He was just sitting there, hat and all. Dmetri smiled to himself and cautiously began to approach him.

His eyes were closed. Was That Bum asleep? Sitting up? Oh well... not hard to believe. This was going to be easy! And to add onto it all, Dmetri would have the entire silent walk him to devise a story of the whole adventure that would lead to his glory.

Ah, he was so caught up in his wonderful daydream that he'd almost forgotten that he had yet to actually take the hat. That problem should be easy enough to solve, he thought to himself as the distance between them steadily closed.

It wasn't until then that he realized... he wasn't asleep. At least not anymore.

"... Yes?" the man said, looking up at Dmetri with surprisingly friendly eyes.

"Uhm..." Dmetri looked down at him, not sure what to do next... but it's almost funnyhow having to look down at someone can effect you. Dmetri already felt superior... The macho man in him that usually existed only in daydreams and lame fantasies was starting to swell up inside.

"Yes?" That Bum repeated.

"Ah, yes, well... I'm...." he had to think of something quickly. "I'm... doing a report... on how top hats can... influence people's lives?" Ooo, smooth. ".. And I was wondering if-"

"No."

... The man had answered so quickly. Dmetri was caught by surprise by the sternness of the voice alone. Had he really figured him out that easily? He thought he had even detected a bit of anger, but when he looked back at That Bum's smiling face, he decided to just let his imagination take the blame. He just loved his hat... that was all.

"... Oh."

That's all he could think to say. As lame as it was, that was all it was.

Dmetri started to turn to leave, but was stopped by the voice once more.

"What are you doing out here dressed like that anyways?" The Bum asked. "It's below zero! Are you waiting for a ride?"

Dmetri shook his head... was this man that desperate for conversation? Talking about the water? It was almost sad.

"No, I'm walking on home." he answered.

"You live close?"

"Not really, no. There's not even a building for a few miles, and all my buddies happened to need to go in the opposite direction tonight. It's no big deal, really. I do this all of the time."

"Ah. So you're all alone then?"

"Well... Yeah, I guess so."

"... How sad."

".... Um... Sure?" Now it was just getting weird. But it wasn't like this hobo could do anything about this, right? He was just a sad little man trying to start a conversation. Yet, paranoia was working it's way into Dmetri's mind.

"Being alone is never a good thing," the man continued with a sad look. "You're the first to even talk to me in weeks."

"... Oh...." He was looking for some way to just back out of this conversation and get on his way again... but for once in his life he really felt sorry for the guy. Still... "That sucks," he said... but honestly didn't sound that caring.

The man let out a chuckle and shook his head. "My, aren't you blunt?"

Dmetri nervously joined in on the laughter... awkwardly. "Heh... heh... yeaaahh...."

"So... what's your name, lad?"

Ugh. Now he could see he wasn't going anywhere any time son. He slowly sat down next to The Bum and answered, "Dmetri."

"Dmetri," the man repeated to himself. "Neat. I like it. Well Dmetri, I'm Evan."

Hmm. Evan. Easier to say than "That Bum," that's for sure.

"Mmm'kay Evan. Nice meeting you and all, but... I'm sorry. I have to.. go... find a McDonalds... now..." Haha. Another smooth one. Woooh, he was on a roll tonight.

"McDonalds? ... Doesn't your mom cook you dinner?"

Dmetri shrugged. "She'd obviously be asleep right now... and my parents leave town early tomorrow morning, so it's not like they're going to notice me gone. Not like they'd miss me..." he paused... "I can just grab a bite to eat wherever, whenever." So there. he added mentally.

"Won't be missed? Geeze, you're depressing. Dressed as you are in cold weather like this, in the middle of nowhere with no one else... and not even missed?"

Dmetri paused and went silent. He was the depressing one?! That Bum-... Evan was pretty depressing himself! Dmetri didn't tend to put things together the way Evan had, but when he said it like that it really did seem depressing!

"I guess so," he muttered, sulking a bit and looking at his feet.

"Good."