Our day is done
The sun has gone
From the sky, from
The mountains and hillsides
All is well, all is right
With the world
Time to rest until tomorrow
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
It's sweet... sounds like a poem you'd find in a children's poetry book. I can picture one of those Precious Moments-style pictures alongside it - (I dunno, first image in my mind.) I don't think the last line holds up to the rest of the poem, though. Perhaps another less-used line that still has "sorrow" at the end could work? Just my two cents.
Comments
ObliviousShadow Says:
Its pretty, i like the way you blend the sentences!
codyla Says:
the blending is awesome!
i likey!
Cilmeron Says:
Nice little poem.. reminds me a bit of a good night poem that I once wrote..
Katrina Says:
It's sweet... sounds like a poem you'd find in a children's poetry book. I can picture one of those Precious Moments-style pictures alongside it - (I dunno, first image in my mind.) I don't think the last line holds up to the rest of the poem, though. Perhaps another less-used line that still has "sorrow" at the end could work? Just my two cents.
Hebi Says:
neat
Pepsicola22 Says:
Nice Poem.