New Advertising Trend

New Advertising Trend

All those big-name brand stores, which packaged everything in human-proof plastic packaging, out of the blue, packed their most expensive items in flimsy boxes, security devices held within. This gave stores a much easier time to shelve their stock, creating more room for even more merchandise than all of those bulky packages. The modification of the casing surprisingly lowered the rate of items being copped from the outlets, yet the industries still lusted for their logos and brand names to be purchased by the mass amount of consumers.

It seemed as if everything was much happier, but unfortunately, there was a problem. In order for anything to be printed on a box, it had to pass a certain law stating the font to be larger than at least size 9.8213. Of course they had the name of the item and the brand name in a very large font, but then when it came time to list any type of appliance compatible with the equipment, the font had to be small, but at the same time, it left for only the popular companies to be listed.

Lawsuits were filed complaining that the smaller companies were listed under the 'etc.' category, in turn lowering their success of advertising. After a tough battle, the lower companies reigned victorious and the layout of the previous packaging was to be changed.

Being very environmentally conscious, the printing companies ordered their paper supplies from the local Newspaper-Into-Cardboard Recycling Plant and the ink gathered from willing octopuses, squid, or any deep brown root from the earth, which was of course ran over by foot to reduce the amount of serious air pollution.

The boxes were now slightly larger in size, mostly because of the umpteen different trademarks printed 'etc', but the shops still did have enough room to fit an adequate amount on their shelves.

Time went on and as more advances were discovered in technology, even more brand names were being added to these lists. The following is a chart of how dramatically there was an increase of company names listed on the boxes.

One smart man by the name of 'Secretly Anonymous', from the little town of 'N/A', made an ultimate discovery, which would forever alter the industry of advertising. As one documentary-writing personnel interviewed Secretly Anonymous, she found out that as a child, and even as he was growing up, Anonymous' attention was drawn to signs with the largest lettering. He took his idea to one of his favourite brand names, and the company quickly created a blueprint to be used for the packaging.

Now the boxes were slightly larger in size, but the warehouses still had room to host all of the merchandise. Other companies who learned of the first company, whose name was printed larger, hid their jealousy with anger as they revolted against "such a hideous idea". Another law was soon passed, stating all brand names must be larger than font size 22.

As months passed by, the law increased its limited font size until a law was passed so no one could exceed the font size of 48.347.

Purchases finally evened out, as fonts remained the same size, yet the corporations still lusted for better ways to advertise their wares.

Secretly Anonymous wrote up a report on newfound information from his research with the help of Secretly Anonymous II. He noticed his toddler responded with more enthusiasm to brightly coloured objects than largely printed letters. Once again, he sent his findings to his favourite company where they accepted his idea even before he could begin his hypothesis.

At the printing companies, they were still environmentally efficient, and with the brighter colours, they successfully were sent approvals from the Great Botanists that they could use two pedals for each hundred gallons of ink being produced. Unbelievably, the small amount of colour added to the water proved to be electrifyingly neons.

The vicious cycle repeated as all of the other companies quickly led onto this secret. On the other hand, many people are slightly unhappy about purchasing an item the size of a half dollar held within a box with the square feet no smaller than seven. This matter is still being accounted for. Now, on to you, Bill, with Sports.