IxR act 32

The blood in my mouth tasted Metallic, Koda was holding me down- Pressing farther and farther- wanting more and more than I was willing to give him-

I didnt love him- He would never understand-

He would keep trying and trying- he would continue to try and break and cheat and weasel his way into my heart, I couldnt understand why he wanted it so desperately.

Why did Koda love me so much?

I think in a sense I was enjoying it, But not because it was Koda doing it- I think it was because I wanted to be the submissive one in the back of my mind- I wanted to have someone force me into a kiss or force me to do something, rather than the other way around.

But Ryou is the one I love- and Ryou needs me more than ever. He needs me.

And I cant betray him.

I will never betray him for something so- unmeaningful.

Our love was worth much more than that- We had years and years of entangled ribbons, Each one wrapped around us- keeping us together.

And Koda was not going to cut those ribbons.

It was as though something else was controlling me and I pulled one of my hands free from under him, My tail bristled. I was now severely pissed off-

The fist of my hand met his jaw and I heard and felt a definate cracking of bones- More blood went flying.

I was hyped up, my mind was reeling, I wanted to beat the everliving piss out of him. It was as though everything he had ever done to me came flooding in at once, And I decided that Koda would pay- At this very moment- he would get his dues.

I slipped out from under him as he fell slightly sideways, bringing up a hand to hold his jaw, blood splattered on the ground underneath him and dripping out of his mouth.

I let out a growl and kicked him all the way to the ground. I wanted him below me- I wanted him to realize that I was in charge now- He wasnt going to push me around- I wasnt going to be afraid of him anymore! I was the one that was supposed to be protecting Ryou- and I did a terrible job of it! Now I had to make up for it by beating Koda's ass!

I sat down on top of his stomach and pulled my hand back angrily- ready to hit him. I was ready- I wanted to break his goddamn face open.

But before I could something seemed to stop me. My hand wouldnt go forward- It wouldn't allow me to hit Koda, He had brought up a hand to shield his face. And when I looked at my hand I saw something.

There was a ribbon wrapped around it, holding it back, a ghost like entity of the one I loved.

I lowered my hand and moved away. Ryou wouldnt want me to beat Koda's ass no matter what he had done. He doesnt want me to fight anymore.

Ryou doesn't want me to get hurt.

And I don't want to hurt him.

"You're Lucky Koda- I was going to bash in your face. Go wash up- I'll see you in school tomorrow-" What else could I say to him?

Koda got up and did as he was told, closing the door behind him, I could hear Mokuo fussing over him very loudly through the door.

Koda's silence told me everything- I broke his pride along with his heart- But I'd say we're even now.

Life is so complicated, Even when they arent standinng next to you the one you love can tell you what to do- You can hallucinate that they are with you guiding you. And I think Ryou showed me the right path. If I had beaten up Koda any worse I would have been put in jail, then I wouldnt see my love ever again.

He would find someone else, forget about me, and I would be miserable.