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possibilities
I lie in my bed
Thinking of when
All your dreams come true
And truly I hope they do
I used to think
that I was in that category
of hopes and dreams
Then, after realizing I wasn't
I still hoped
I hoped for months and months
That you would change your mind
How foolish was I?
Ah well, that's life.
To tell you the truth, there is still
Some un-destroyable hope
In there somewhere
But I know in my heart
and in my head
that the chances of it
happening are
probably less
then zero percent.
Meh.
Time rolls on
And I'm sure
I'll eventually learn
That there is truly no one who
Would care about me the way
I thought you did..
Oh well that's life
Right now if you're still reading this
There are probably a few things
Going through your head
I'm not even sure if they are, but I'll go for
answering them anyway just so you know
...well that and personal piece of mind.
The first possibility is
"I've heard it all before"
Maybe, but I don't really feel
like I let it all out,
so please let me let it out.
Another thought
Could be
"you whiny piece of Emo shit!"
You might not say it, but you
Probably think it.
If not, I meant no offense,
Though,
you probably don't really care.
Or maybe its torturing you.
Like you said it was so long ago
But my guess is you were lying.
That's another thing that gets me.
I'm ok with people lying to me
for a certain amount of time
and for certain reasons
but please.
Enough is enough
At some point I wonder if
anything that you tell me is the truth.
Do you have such a low opinion of me
That you think I don't actually care?
Do you think I cant handle the truth?
I'd rather be destroyed by the truth instantly
Then have the wonder if you ever told me the truth
Eat away at me forever.
Sure, I'm aware that at least some of those lies
Were for my protection,
But do you know how it feels to have someone you love
Suddenly turn around to you and say
That it was all a lie?
I've had it happen to me a few times now
And let me tell you the truth
The first one was a blow,
but honestly,
it could have been worse
and soon forgot about it.
I guess that
I didn't really
let her into my heart.
That was a few years ago...
And I'm both ashamed and happy that
I temporarily forgot her name
The second one
Almost destroyed me
Because I had fully let her in
But that's what I get for letting her in so early.
I was still pulling myself together
From that when I met you
And after we had talked for a few times
I realized that
I could completely forget
about my personal sorrows
when I talked with you.
I was in a dreamland,
and I tried to help you with your problems
as much as I could.
Yeah, I truly believed that together
We could help each other with
Any emotional issue that we had.
Either as separate people or as a couple.
Maybe it's the fist time I told you that and if it is,
I'm sorry I couldn't communicate it earlier.
Anyway, I was naïve, and you were trying to protect me.
Kind of funny when you think about it
Considering that I was trying to protect you as well.
I was trying to protect you from my darker side
Even if at times it seeped through
In some ways that I'd rather not talk about.
Maby if I had let it out instead of being such a pushover, things would have gone differently,
But then you would still be lying.
not just to me
but to yourself as well.
And I wouldn't want you to do that.
especially for my sake.
So I guess things worked out for the best, but I wont lie to you,
I still have some major issues with you, but at least you tried
And for that, I am truly thankful.
I just hope you don't repeat the
mistakes you made with me.
Although you are already.
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