Senseless

Senseless

(Tim sitting in a therapist's office.)
I woke up lying in dog piss... On the floor in my room... I really need to remind myself to close the door before I go out, that way the dog won't use my room to do its thing. I don't get why, of all places, it'd have to piss in my room, though. I mean there are a plethora of places it could've done its business. Its-its absurd is what is! I mean... Well, I can rule out that it's not that the dog doesn't like me, per say. It's more along the lines of, I suppose, where the dog is at that point in time. It's not like the dog knew it was my room anyway, it's such a stupid animal to begin with, but... I guess what I'm really, you know, trying to get at is... I hate my life.
(So Sad About Us - The Who)
(Opening Credits)
(Black Screen)
I came of age in the 1990's, a uh... a decent decade which was a little under minded in my opinion. I mean, although it was the slacker generation, look what came of it. I mean, Nirvana, you can't go wrong there. The Silence of the Lambs, Pulp Fiction, Need I go on, really? ... 1996, my senior year in high school. It was a very strange year. I didn't know what to expect, especially since the previous three years of high school hadn't been particularly kind to me. I just expect the worse most of the time. Is that truly a burden or perhaps a blessing in disguise? I mean, I can't usually get hurt this way because my expectations are always set below the bar anyhow. The biggest thing in my life up until this point would've had to have been... Angie. That was just a cataclysmic explosion of mistake, regret and anguish. But to tell you the truth... like many fools, I'm glad it happened. And yet at the same time... I wish it would all just go away. But enough about her, there are other pressing matters at hand here. For example, getting back to my senior year, I had slumped into depression at one point.
(Cut to Tim being depressed.)
I became depressed because I had begun to wonder about why I was so... I don't want to say unpopular, because that just sounds like your typical high school underdog complaint, no... I was depressed because... I was notorious for being an asshole. Funny thing I've noticed is that no matter how much of an asshole someone is, when that person dies, everyone has only nice things to say about them. Why? They're dead. And I mean, it's not like someone's got a gun to your head or something. And then I got this crazy idea to fake my death and attend my own funeral. So... I did.
(Cut to funeral.)
I attended in disguise, of course. Let's just say the turn-out wasn't, you know, what you'd hope for.
(Cut to a very small attendance.)
My mother came in late.
(Mother walks in late.)
(Cut to black.)
They didn't even have a reception... after-party, whatever you call it. Later that week, I returned into public.
(Cut to high school scene.)
Person from Funeral: Didn't you... die? I thought I went to your funeral.
Tim: Nope.
(Cut to black.)
As you can see, I don't have very many close friends... friends at all... My life was pretty boring up until... I'd have to say two years ago. Angie... My god, has it been that long?
(Cut to a small bridge overlooking a stream. Angie looks down at the water. Tim walks up beside her.)
Tim: ... Hey...
Angie: ... Hey...
Tim: ... How have you been?
Angie: ... Fine.
Tim: ... That's good.
(Angie walks away.)
Well, that didn't go very well... that was also the last time I ever saw her. Let's go back a bit further, a few months.
(Tim and Angie are having passionate sex. Setting... Some bedroom? They finish up. Shot at the foot of the bed. Cut to an overhead of the head of the bed. They both lay down on their sides of the bed, cuddling each other.)
Tim: ... I love you.
Angie: I love you...
(They kiss. Freeze frame. Tim walks out in front of the screen.)
Okay... Yeah, so I guess you might think you're starting to get the picture. Well, you're wrong. Trust me, there's a lot more to this than you think. Let's jump ahead about a week.
(Cut to Tim and Angie again in a random setting.)
Angie: I... I don't know what to say.
Tim: Please... be honest. No matter how much it affects me. Just be honest.
Angie: ... I don't love you anymore...
(Freeze frame.)
Okay, that may have been a little predictable, but let's go back 2 months from that day.
(Cut to Tim curled up in a fetal position, sobbing on his bed.)
Oh... this gets worse.
(Wonderwall - Oasis)
(Cut to Tim stumbling down a sidewalk in the rain. He eventually reaches a house and stops and stares at it.)
Of course, this is Angie's house. Still think you've got this figured out? Let's go back two more months.
(Cut to Tim and Angie. Face to face.)
Tim: You're a fuckin' bitch...
(Angie goes to angrily punch him. Freeze frame before the fist makes contact.)
How do you go from this...
(Cut to sobbing.)
To this...
(Cut to sex.)
To this?
(Cut back to office.)
Well... Love is an amazing thing, especially if I can even grace what we had with that, oh so sacred, word. Anyway, enough about her. Please, allow me to digress back to my senior year... I recall constantly finding myself... temporarily attracted to strange girls. I was a virgin, but I mean it was a little excessive. Pretty girls would just... drive me WILD. I would masturbate constantly... excessively. I'm certainly grateful that I could at some point in time, have the chance to meet and to mate with such a creature... even if she was a s-sadist bitch. I can recall Angie asking me about my mother a lot. She's passed on, but like... I guess what effect she had on me growing up. Well... Maybe she's to blame why I have so many emotional issues. As a kid, I constantly watched my parents fighting and arguing and-and-and... When I was about 11 years old, they got a divorce. And ya know, me, being a momma's boy and all... I stuck by my mom. She would always tell me what a horrible person my father was and of course, being so impressionable... I believed her. I hated my father for years until... one day I just realized... she was wrong. I never forgave her for that...
(Fade to black)
You know, I always thought I'd make it somewhere like... in movies or something. I never really had anything to fall back on, which is probably why I'm so messed up now. I don't know... I thought I had what it takes... Sometimes, I'll get lonely and want to kill myself. I don't know if this means anything, but it's not a very good feeling.
(Cut back to office.)
So... I guess what I'm really getting at is... I never really got over Angie. She... she really was something. I mean... I really loved her. I don't think she loved me back though... liked, even. I think she shared a general distaste for my behavior and lifestyle in general.
(I Can't Help It (If I'm Still in Love with You) - Hank Williams)
(Cut to Tim walking down the sidewalk, completely shattered and generally messed up looking.)
And then she did it... she shut me out completely. That's when things really... really got m-messed up... for me.
(Tim walks past Angie's house and lingers on it, staring at it absolutely mesmorized.)
That's Angie's house... I must'a done this once every day since then...
(Linger for awhile? Cut back to office scene.)
So it went on like that for about two months. I got progressively worse by the day. The pain built up inside me and-and-and... I felt more and more like trying to kill myself until-
(Hello - Lionel Richie)
(Headshot while Tim cuts himself, do not show the wrists, somehow make it clear to the audience as to what he's doing.)
(Fade to black.)
(From Tim's perspective, show his eyes open to reveal he's now in a hospital room, Angie standing over him crying.)
As I looked up at her and those... those tears in her eyes... I was just... awe struck... at how much she really cared... I found myself feeling rather pedantic but it was then that I realized... I had her right where I wanted her.
(Free-For-All - Ted Nugent)
(Cut to Tim with a small grin, as if he's smiling at Angie's presence alone. After a short pause, the music stops.)
Angie: (Trying to muster up the courage to say what she needs to say.) Why, Tim? Why did you do it?
Tim: ... I... I can't live without you.
(Angie tries to hold back her tears but ultimately fails when she throws her arms around him and begins sobbing into his shoulder. Cut to Tim's reaction, that being another more malicious grin.)
(Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon - Queen)
(Cut to a small montage of love scenes between Tim and Angie.)
And after that, we were inseparable. I loved her and she loved me... I suppose. I mean... they were sort of false feelings, but I didn't care. She loved me none the less... or at least she thought she did.
(Cut to the office.)
Things were great... for about a week or so... Then it turned ugly and it all blew up in my face.
(For No One - The Beatles)
(Cut to Angie approaching Tim.)
And then as quickly as it'd happened... it was over. Those words I had... dreaded so but pessimistically anticipated...
Angie: I don't love you anymore, Tim...
And I stayed strong... until she left...
(Angie exits the scene. Tim falls to his knees and tears fill his eyes. Fade to black.)
For the first time... I realized it had all been in vain.
(Cut to Tim in the office, in tears.)
Why did I do it? ... I don't know... I wanted her... She didn't want me and I knew that, but I couldn't leave it well enough alone. I... I just didn't know WHAT to do... She's gone now... out of my life... and it's all my fault.
(Cut to black; Cut back to the office, Tim is now sitting up, his tears are dry.)
I woke up this morning... lying in dog piss... perhaps that's a metaphor for my life... I can be comfortable but I'll always be lying in dog piss, so to speak. I'll have that one b-burden hanging over my head or-or... or something. I'm... I'm lying in dog piss... and I'm content. I've thought about it a lot and... Maybe there's just no hope for me. Maybe I should just go end it all at once. Beats the hell out of waitin' around for spontaneous combustion to hit me. Then at the same time, I say to myself, "Hey... I could get my life back on track..." but of course, I know it will just end in a restraining order... I've been so lonely. Thanks, you've been a great help.
(Tim gets up and exits the office. Cut to the therapist who hasn't said a word throughout the whole film, sitting there speechless and confused.)
(Married with Children - Oasis)
(Cut to End Credits)