Untitled Saga of a Genius - Prologue

Untitled Saga of a Genius - Prologue

In the beginning, there was the Earth. It was mostly blue and green, and it had overgrown lizards stomping about and adding some brown. Then a huge rock took out the dinosaurs, and there was no more brown. All that harmonious colour was not too good, since nobody likes harmony (look at the world now – why do you suppose there's so much violence?).

So a bunch of heavily-drunk-on-something apes decided to show the long-dead overgrown lizards that they could do everything previously done and more, and started standing on their own two feet. It would have been a bit of an achievement if the overgrown lizards were actually around to acknowledge that, but there wasn't save for everything else that wanted to eat them.

The apes then learned that throwing rocks at things made red liquid gush out from small holes. Thankfully this new discovery was limited to the things that wanted to eat them, which prevented their extinction.

Following that, a whole bunch of things happened, which involved the apes losing their body hair and looking more like the people we are today. Losing all their hair also meant they had less problems with fleas, which gave them more time in return to sit and ponder many a great thing. Eventually some of them had too much time to think, which resulted in a bunch of them stacking rocks up in huge three-dimensional triangles to bury their dead kings in.

Apparently the amount of clothing a person wears is directly proportional to their mental capability. As it is, some of the greatest men drape themselves from head to toe in every portrait, photograph, and film biography. Da Vinci had the robes, Shakespeare had a fan around his neck and his legs had stockings, and Einstein had that nice cardigan over his shirt and pants. They're called geniuses for a reason – they're smart enough to realize that their naked forms would scar the eyes of any self-respecting woman or child. Imagine Hawking without a strand of thread on his gaunt paralyzed frame. Suddenly he's not so smart now is he?

However, the world now has no more geniuses. After the atom bomb exploded, the radiation spread further than everyone thought, impeding the intelligence of future generations, reverting them to their ape-like selves several million years ago. People started wearing less, and true to form, everyone got stupider. Throw a stone out a window, and you could hit someone wearing a bikini top and hot pants who didn't know that milk came from cows. Not literally, but you get the idea.

16 years ago, the forces to be decreed that it was high time a genius rose to enlighten and revolutionize humanity (and hopefully to get them to cover the obscene gobs of flesh hanging round their waists more often). Unfortunately the said genius wasn't a virgin birth, so she went largely ignored amongst her peers and adults. A grand total of two people witnessed her coming, and all she got for presents were cheap plastic rattles and enough disposable diapers to make a small island.

But the genius will rise from anonymity, yes she will. She will rise to heights none have dared to climb, uncover mysteries none have pondered, explore places none dare tread, and her name will be spoken with reverence by all.

And she will be fully clothed, damn it.

Many would come to know this genius as…