Ultimate Emo Bitchrant (that nobody will read)

Ultimate Emo Bitchrant (that nobody will read)

I would like to take a moment to bitch about stuff that really boils my shit - the complete ignorance of the majority of today's youth. Now, I am a teenager too, so you may think I am being a little hypocritical at times, but whatever. Let me bitch. I'm a woman.

So, let's get started. Why do some people feel the need to sweep their hair in front of their face to cover one eye, wear ridiculously tight jeans, black eye makeup, overworn retro shirts, and other accesories that scream, "I am really, really boring."?

By now you all probably know what I am referring to. Yes, people who call themselves 'emo'. Infact, you don't even call yourselves emo, you say you're not emo, and that you are yourself, when your sense of style defines it to the core. I swear to God, seeing you people in the street makes me want to push you on the fucking railway and ask, "You're not at work, why the hell are you wearing uniform?". You people all look the fucking same, and ridiculous. It's not what you wear, or what music you listen to that bothers me the most. It's what you think and say you represent; 'being cool by being different', and 'rebelling to fashion with another fashion'.

At the end of the day, you are just the same as fashion victims, and people who follow the crowd to be cool, but you are just following another crowd. You are not different at all. You're the same as everyone else you think you are rebelling against, but with one small difference, you look really silly.

Yeah, you say you hate goths, chavs, etc. But really, you're just chavs in disguise. Stop bullshitting and admit you are just a sheep.


Ask yourself, are you being yourself? Do you really, really enjoy the music you listen to? Or are you just wearing those things, listening to that music and acting the way you do because everyone else does? Do you realise that what you listen to isn't really that original as you think, it's all been done before. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Yes they are!"; Woah woah, let me guess. My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and Panic, right? I'm sure they're among your iPod somewhere near the top. Real original. Oh yeah, and that iPod, do you really need one, or did you just get one because everyone else wears one around their neck? Especially the gay coloured ones. Haha.

Now, let's go over some of your silly clothes. Let's start with the shirts you know nothing about. Let's see, Superman, Batman, 'Vote for Pedro', emo band shirts, and the ones with witty lines you probably don't get. Where did you get them? Oh wait, let me guess, the ever-growing, boring t-shirt rack in HMV, Woolworths or Virgin, or to a lesser extent, the emo section in New Look, right? Or maybe you purchased them online, but wait, let me guess again, Hot Topic Online, or that other huge online store dedicated to your fashion that I can't remember the name of? What was it again? ReallySillyClothes.com? I didn't know the size XXXSmall existed, but you got it from somewhere, and let me tell you, it looks bloody terrible, and how much did you pay for them? £25 a shirt? Goodness me. You are aware that you can buy original shirts from the 80s from eBay for less than you're worth, right? Oh wait, you like to pay the highest possible price for clothing, don't you? I forgot. Buying the exact same item for a quarter of the price, even if nobody notices makes you uncool, doesn't it? Sorry.

What is the deal with those tight jeans you wear? They don't do anything for you, they just make you look even more homosexual than you already are.

Okay, what's next? The hair. Right, the hair. You know, black really doesn't suit you, and putting white/blue/yellow/whatever streaks in it doesn't help either. Just looks like you got into a fight with a rainbow and lost, then again, your entire haircut looks like you were in a fight with a lawnmower and lost that, too. Why does your hair have to cover your face? Where did this whole haircut come from anyway? It makes you look like the newer Final Fantasy characters. Seriously, take a look at some of them, take a look at some anime characters. Your hair looks like that, but except two things; complete failure, and it normally looks greasy from over-styling. Oh yeah, and what's up with the males of your kind straightening their hair and wearing make-up? I mean, come on. This isn't the 80s. We do not need another decade where the boys wear more make-up than the girls, it's been done before, grow the hell up.

Oh look, you're wearing black Converses. Awesome... oh, and the guy next to you with the even stupider haircut than yourself is also wearing Converses, but they're pink with black and white striped laces, and oh, the guy next to him is ALSO wearing Converses, but they look modified, and have more colours than a pack of Skittles. Now, let's look over to the other 5 people in your group. Oh! What a shock! They all are also wearing Converses! All different colours too! Incredible! You are really, really making a statement of how original you are!

I'll keep my response short and sweet. No, just no.

What's that wristband and studded belt you are wearing? Let's look closer. Oh, probably has some gay band on it, or Nintendo. Oh yeah, now, about wearing the geeky stuff, and claiming that you are a geek. Now, which emo guy did I see with a Mario shirt on, and I asked him where he got it, and he said he didn't even know what it was, he was just wearing it because it's fashionable? Oh wow, you have a NES controller on your belt buckle. Do you even know what NES stands for? Probably not. Even if you do, you probably haven't played it, you're just wearing the merchandise to give the desperate message, "Look, I am cool! I play video games!" to the people who hate you, like myself. If you want respect from people who hate you because you're emo, try dressing gangsta. At least they get more respect from me than you do, at least they have a cause. Why do you have so many badges on the collar of your black suit jacket and bag? Why are you the only person that doesn't understand what the witty comments on them mean? Even if you do understand them, the comments are usually very, very old. Why are you buying stripey socks? Nobody can see them, so what's the point? Why are you wearing stripey cut-off gloves that go up to your shoulders? I mean, surely they are uncomfortable wearing them all year round.

Now, while everyone needs something to survive, you creatures known as 'emos' survive on MySpace. MySpace is probably the biggest breeding ground for you strange creatures. Here is where you blog every half hour about what nobody gives a shit about, pimp your page with bullshit, add everybody to your friends list, and have really silly names, usually consisting of a '.' between each letter or word, a trademark sign, and something about a broken heart and some other silly signs that nobody knows how to do on the keyboard, making your name a bitch to type out. You know, that doesn't really gain you any friends, since everyone else on your friend list has exactly the same name. Now, let's look at your picture. Oh, my, the comment says, "Am I pretty?", well, we would know if the picture wasn't in black and white, blurred, taken from an above angle, edited in Photoshop, and you didn't have your fucking stupid hair in front of your face. Please stop trying to look mysterious in your pictures, because it's just silly.

Why does every single one of you claim to be bisexual? Are you really bisexual, or are you just saying that to be different so your silly group of people who are 'different' will accept you? Honestly, nobody gives a shit what your sexuality is. Why is your font pink, small and hard to read? Why does everybody on your friends list look exactly the same as you? Is this the "Who Can Look the Gayest?" contest? Why is the title to every single one of your blogs something about having your heart broken and that you are suicidal?

I just really don't understand you people. Then again, you claim that nobody understands you, and you like to keep it that way, and then bitch about it later on. Oh yeah, and what's with the stuff you write? You call that poetry? It doesn't rhyme. The only thing that it rhymes with is what everybody else writes. It's all the same. What's that on your arm? Oh, it's a scar. Why do you cry yourself to sleep and cut yourself? Well, you claim to, anyway.

"It makes me feel better!"

No, it doesn't. It gives you scars, so people will ask where you got them, and give you lots of sympathy and attention, like you wanted in the first place, bitch. You know, instead of sitting there whoring for attention and feeling sorry for yourself, you can face your own fucking problems and solve them. Blogging about your problems and bitching about them in your Livejournal doesn't help anybody, that is, if you have any problems. So, your parents won't let you watch Big Brother or Fall Out Boy live, that's not something to cry and cut about, it's not the end of the fucking world. It's always fun to laugh at other peoples' misery, but your misery is just annoying. Please, just stop.


Last but not least, the music. You do realise that your music is shit, don't you? Why do your favorite bands have really long song and album titles? Why do these bands deny that they are emo? I know they're emo, you know they're emo, the band knows that they are emo, everybody fucking knows they are emo, you just won't say it, because you think emos are lame, don't you? Your bands dress a little bit like you, but not as silly.

In conclusion, I would just like to say that I am PROUD to be a leader, and not a follower. I'm a shepard, and I don't care if I don't have a flock. Be yourself and be true to yourself, do what you feel, express what you feel, say what you feel, wear what you like, and don't give a shit about what other people say. Copying other people is not going to get you anywhere in life. Don't stay in a cage. The only label I have is in the back of my clothes, and it says, "Do not dry clean."

Well, that's it for my rant. I think I got my point across. I guess it just turned into a bitch rant about emos. Now, if you fit this description above, and still deny your complete and utter faggotry, that just proves the absolute ignorance of your kind, and I recommend you crawl back into the pile of shit where you came from. Please, spare us.


- Geo.