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Ocean
Ocean
Water of breeze.
Waves of flesh,
Sounds of peace.
Flowing though to your legs,
Making you want to feel pressure.
Of its water nature.
Flowing with big waves.
Turning into big nature.
Blue nature.
Its nature of water.
Place for fishes.
Waves of nature.
Ocean......
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Comments
KSapphire8989 Says:
*meows and sways* I love the ocean. Very nice pic and your words are even more beauitful.
Phaena Says:
Very nice, love the concept. I do have a few suggestions for it though. The though in "Flowing though to your legs," doesn't hold much importance and just drags on the sentence, I would find it much more "flowing" if the though were taken out.
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Also "Flowing into big waves, Turning into big nature" perhaps a change of words such as huge nature or such? The repetition of words can be good but it can also make a poem boring, that I have learn from harsh critiques ^^'
Perhaps instead of "Its the nature of waves," "It's the fantasy of waves," sounds catchy non?
Just giving you some suggestions to play with your words in your next poem, which I presume will be just as fantastic as the others and this one