CST3000: So Who Stole the Marshmallows

CST3000: So Who Stole the Marshmallows

Tension hung in the air, thickening with every moment. Would even a knife be able to cut it? Maybe. Pine trees towered into the sky, nearly choking away the stars and clouds up above. Below, on a patch of bare earth sat four people, all of them looking like they were close in age. They formed a circle around a growing fire, piercing innocent, soft marshmallow flesh and thrusting the screaming food over the flames.

"Did you hear something?" The elder of the boys--the one with the long blond hair and gray eyes--asked, seeming to be the only one that heard the pained shrieks of the marshmallows. Was there a serial killer in the woods? No, couldn't be. Sun hadn't put the Texas Chainsaw Massacre program in the holocabana... or at the very least, everyone thought she didn't.

The woman with the dreads shook her head, "You're hearing things, Aidan-kun." She lifted her marshmallow from the flames, amusing over the charred black skin that kept its melted insides from escaping. She didn't even seem to notice the way it twitched involuntarily or its weak cries of, "You... sick... bitch!" No, she didn't notice this at all and she never would; slamming the sobbing marshmallow between the slabs of graham cracker and chocolate eternally silenced its tortured screams.

Aidan stared at Yoko's marshmallow in horror, now aware of where the screams were coming from. Part of him wanted to laugh at the stupidity of talking marshmallows, but another part of him wanted to stop this mass marshmallow genocide before it continued. It was at this point he realized he was still holding one of the marshmallow hostages over the flames, and quickly pulled it to the freedom of the cool breeze. He looked down at the marshmallow sadly, regret obviously on his face. He had been selfish, letting his hunger control his mind and now... an innocent marshmallow had suffered so much because of it. How could he have let this happen!?

"Aidan?" This was the other boy, a pre-pubescent kid with hair a bizarre shade of green. "Why are you staring at the marshmallow like that?" He paused. "Look, one marshmallow is not going to ruin your figure, okay?" Another pause, only this one seemed to have a bit more of a disturbed tone. "Aidan... you're not anorexic, are you?"

"It's my fault..." Aidan trailed off, his voice lifeless like a porcelain doll's. "It's all my doing..."

"Uh... Aidan-kun, what are you talking about?" The last of the quartet, a woman dressed like a poster child for "Adolescents Who Wish They Were Depressed," looked up at Aidan from her s'more and from the screams of, "You just tore off my leg! My leg--AUUUGH!!! Oh god! Oh god! I can't feel my arm!" The shout might have been a bit longer, but the marshmallow chose that very moment to die dramatically with a, "grk!"

The marshmallow's death signified the beginning of something, that something being Aidan getting up and preparing to preach like a priest loaded on enough sugar to give a kindergarten class diabetes. "What is wrong with you people?" The "people" stared at Aidan, all of them wondering what had gotten under the teenager's skin. "How can you three go on, munching on your evil snacks like everything's right in the world?"

"Look, I know you're upset about Bush winning, but--"

"This isn't about Bush! This is about something much worse!" Aidan cried, throwing his arms up into the sky like a little kid describing how gigantic something was. "Don't you see? We're nothing but sadistic murderers.

It was at this point that Zoku was going to open his mouth to ask what the hell Aidan was talking about when a voice boomed from out of nowhere.

"PLAY TIME'S OVER!" Ah yes, it was the voice of one of the most sadistic people there ever was or at least... that's how Yoko felt. " ALL OF YOU REPORT TO THE LOUNGE AT ONCE!"

"We have a lounge!?" Yoko shouted, this information entirely new to her. Since when did they have a lounge?

"I can't report to the lounge now!" Aidan cried, "not when innocent marshmallows are being burned alive! Not when they're innocent people! I mean, burning is for witches, not marshmallows!"

"Hey!" Sun growled, throwing her roasting stick (dead marshmallow included) at Aidan. However, Sun's aim never was any good, so instead it hit a tree. The marshmallows in the plastic bag cheered, now realizing that their "enemy" would never be capable of bringing the downfall of their savior.

The voice that had bellowed at the quartet made an unintelligible noise before continuing with, "MARSHMALLOWS? MARSHMALLOWS WILL BE THE LAST THING ON YOUR MIND IF YOU DON'T GET TO THE LOUNGE NOW; STRUGGLING TO GET OXYGEN INTO THAT BODY OF YOURS WILL!"

The four people shivered, considering it would be too difficult for that threat to be carried out. After all, they were all somewhere in the midst of outer space on a satellite. Everyone, save for Aidan, quickly scurried from the forest illusion that the holocabana projected and onward to the lounge. Aidan opted to first swear that he would avenge the marshmallows before he scurried off after the others.

~*~*~*~

Everyone gathered in the lounge with Yoko and Sun taking over the bean-bag that shouldn't have even existed while Aidan and Zoku sat on the couch. They all stared intently at an oversized TV screen that appeared to have devoured one of the tacky orange walls... or at least, they were staring intently at the people on the screen. Yes, there were three of them on the screen: a man with white-blond hair reclining in an office chair, a tanned woman with a blonde afro, and a man with a brightest shade of pink hair.

"...Satan?" Aidan asked in disbelief.

"Bakhu-san!?" Zoku exclaimed.

"Bakhu-tan?" Sun seemed to be amused by this.

"Daddy!?" Yoko shrieked. She thought she "accidentally" killed her father. ...Then again, her father was Satan, King of Hell, so maybe it was impossible to actually kill him.

"YES, ME." The guy with the white-blond hair said; for some bizarre reason, his dialogue was in capital letters even when he wasn't shouting. Aidan took a moment to think about that.

For a long moment there was silence, but Sun broke it with a, "What the hell are you doing!? Shouldn't you be back in Crimson where I left you?"

Bakhu chuckled darkly, waving a finger at Sun. "AH, MY SWEET LITTLE CREATOR," He said in a gentle voice, "HOW COMPLETELY CLUELESS YOU ARE. ESCAPING FROM YOUR TWISTED LITTLE WORLD CALLED CRIMSON WAS ONLY TOO EASY." He looked at Sun's confused face, and smirked. "YOU LEFT YOUR ARTBOOK UNLOCKED, SWEETIE. IT WAS LIKE BREAKING INTO A CAR WITH AN UNLOCKED DOOR."

Sun shook her head sadly, hardly able to believe that a character she created could spew such a crappy metaphor and it was Yoko's father, of all people. This was just so... stupid!

On the other hand, Zoku didn't seem to care that Bakhu escaped from the amateur comic book. "Listen, Bakhu-san, how about you enlighten on what the hell you're doing?"

"ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS?" Bakhu said calmly, "I'M GOING TO RECREATE MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER WITH YOU PEOPLE AS MY PRECIOUS UNDERLINGS."

"That's a stupid--wait a minute." Yoko eyed the two figures that stood by Bakhu. "Lilith? Saferius-sama? What the hell?" Saferius she understood, but why was Lilith there, and why wasn't she trying to claw Bakhu's eyes out? Lilith hated Bakhu.

"AH, YOKO-CHAN, HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED? I'VE BRAINWASHED YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR 'OTHER' FATHER SO THEY'LL OBEY MY EVERY WHIM!" Bakhu stated proudly.

"...Do you realize that sound's like a bad fanfic in the making?"

"WHAT?"

"Nevermind," Yoko muttered, running a hand through her blue and red hair. Was she pissed that Bakhu was running the show and messing with Lilith's mind? Hell yes! However, she knew better than to throw a temper tantrum... at the moment, at least. If she did, Sun would probably spray her with vinegar, show her nose in the carpet, hit her with a newspaper, or something equally degrading.

"ANYWAY," Bakhu continued, "I'VE FOUND A LOVELY FANFIC I WANT YOU UNDERLINGS TO MST FOR ME." The quartet groaned loudly, causing a scowl to mar Bakhu's face. "IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, I'LL CUT OFF ALL OXYGEN IN THE SATELLITE!" The groans stopped. "THAT'S BETTER. NOW, LIKE I SAID, I HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU TO MST. TELL ME, HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD OF GRAVITATION?"

Sun, Yoko, and Zoku nodded uneasily. Gravitation was notorious for having terrible fanfiction.

"HAVE ANY OF YOU READ HARRY POTTER?"

Now Aidan nodded uneasily instead of Yoko.

"GOOD NEWS. YOU MSTING A GRAVITATION/HARRY POTTER CROSSOVER. LATER CHAPTERS ARE EVEN GOING TO STAR ORIGINAL CHARACTERS. DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?"

But there were no cheers of joy. Rather, there were cries of despair, and Zoku threatening to personally cut off the oxygen himself. Again, Bakhu scowled.

"SILENCE!!!" He roared, "YOU WILL DO AS YOU ARE ALL TOLD! NOW MARCH INTO THAT THEATER AND BE MERRY WHILE YOU DO SO!!!"

"We have a movie theater?" Yoko asked, confused. Why didn't anyone tell her about these things?

"I SAID MARCH!!!"

The four people in the lounge whined, then slowly walked to the theater with Aidan showing Yoko the way.

"AND I SAID BE MERRY, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS! AUGH! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME!?"

~*~*~*~
So, who stole the marshmallows?

{Sun: (pops a marshmallow into her mouth.) She doesn't know how to capitalize titles, does she?

Aidan: ...The marshmallows... (sobs.)

Yoko: Get over it.}

By Pyrasi

{Everyone: (waves.) Hi Pyrasi!}

…You know, I'm taking a great risk by writing this HP/Gravitation crossover.

{Zoku: Something's always at risk when people write crossovers. Like our sanity.

Aidan: HP... That's Harry Potter, isn't it?

Yoko: How the fuck do Gravitation and Harry Potter--

Sun: Fear it.}

After all, how many Gravitation fans actually like Harry Potter?!

{Zoku: Um... I don't know. How many Gravitation fans actually like Harry Potter?

Sun: Is this a trick question?}

Sure, pretty much everyone's read J.K. Rowling's over-commercialized series

{Yoko: No, everyone hasn't.

Sun: (looks at Yoko.) Yoko-chan, you haven't read Harry Potter?

Yoko: Do I honestly look like a Harry Potter fan!?

Sun: You always struck me as the Lucius fangirl-type.}

THAT SHOULD NOT, BY ANY MEANS, HAVE MOVIES TO GO ALONG WITH EACH AND EVERY FRIGGIN' BOOK

{Aidan: OH NO! THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK. HELP!!!}

(…cough), but c'mon. Gravitation is…

{Sun: According to Webster, gravitation is the act, process, or fact of gravitating.

Aidan: You memorized that!?

Sun: Maybe.}

Well, Gravitation.

{Sun: Pointless fragment.}

Extremely and utterly the opposite of Harry Potter, to make an understatement.

{Sun: Another pointless fragment. Combine the damn fragments!}

But oh well, I can try, can't I?

{Zoku: We'd rather you don't. Gravitation fanfiction is terrible enough.}

Right.

{Yoko: No no no. Please woman, go left.}

Onward ho! Insanity ahead! -Bounce-

{Aidan: I fear for our futures.}

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Yoko: Oooh! The woman's drawing a blank!}


"Uh, excuse me? I must've heard wrong. Did you just say we're going camping?

{Yoko: "Yes, you're going camping. Now, if you see little stick figures in the trees, let me tell you now: I will NOT be amused if you try to make them move to freak everyone out."}

In the middle of some unknown forest in Japan?!"

{Sun: Of course. Why wouldn't people want to camp out in an unknown forest because, you know, nothing strange ever happens in unknown forests.

Zoku: Except tentacle rape.

Aidan: (glares at Zoku.) That wasn't necessary!}

"No, Malfoy, I'm afraid ya heard quite right,"

{Zoku: Well Draco, let me know if the tentacles treat you right.

Aidan: (whithering look.) I hate you.

Zoku: I know you do.}

Hagrid said, grinning happily despite the other's bitter attitude. "Ain't it a grand idea?"

{Sun: I think the penguins finally stole all of Hagrid's sanity.}

"CAMPING?!

{Yoko: Yes, camping. You know, that's when you sleep in a tent, you spoiled brat.}

Are you out of you're petty little mind, you oversized imbecile?!" Malfoy screamed.

{Sun: (sarcastic.) Oh my! Draco, if you keep screaming like that, your little voice is going to go raw.}

"This must be against some kind of law.

{Zoku: I wish it was, Draco. Then I wouldn't be sitting here next to Orangey [he means Sun] and Aidan, listening to you throw a temper tantrum. Are you afraid of the outdoors?}

My father will hear of this!!" he threatened, his usually pale face turning redder

{Yoko: And then BOOM! He spontaneously combusted. The end.}

by the second.

{Sun: Was Miki timing this?

Yoko: Do NOT drag Utena into this. Everything's going to be warped as it is!.}

"Not comin'? Ah, well, you'll just have 'ta fail this class then, lad.

{Zoku: Oh, I get it! They're trying to commit genocide! They're starting with Harry, Draco, and the other kids first!

Aidan: How did you come to that conclusion!?

Zoku: Why else would they drag a bunch of wizard-kids to an unknown forest?}

And I can assure ya, Professor Dumbledore and the Ministry of Magic fully permit this trip,

{Sun: They're plotting something.}

so you've got nothin' to worry about."

{Zoku: You say that now, Hagrid, but what will you do when the tentacles get their... er... tentacles on the precious students?

Aidan: (groans, and covers his face with his hands.)}

Hagrid replied, still rather cheerful.

{Sun: They're definitely plotting something.

Yoko: So you say. Has it ever occurred to you that not every happy person in the world is plotting something?

Sun: Um... nope.}

This was his big chance to teach the kids about some real magical animals,

{Zoku: Tentacles?

Aidan: (growls.) Zoku-kun...}

and he wasn't going to let anything get to him, even a ridiculously-blonde son

{Yoko: Draco needs to lay off the peroxide.}

of a Death Eater with as much enthusiasm towards animals as a puddle of rotten milk.

{Aidan: A puddle of rotten milk has enthusiasm?

Sun: No! That was the point!}

Hagrid's lack on annoyance, of course, caused Malfoy to become even more furious.

{Yoko: Heh. People like Malfoy are fun to spite.}

"My father's got connections, you know!

{Sun: I'm not sure Hagrid cares.}

If anything happens to me, he can sue you're

{Sun: Your, not you're.}

big ass off and all the way to Azkaban, you troll!"

{Zoku: Ouch, Draco. Easy on the insults. I'm sure calling Hagrid a troll really hurt his feelings.}

he yelled, voice practically dripping with rage and venom.

{Aidan: Draco's venomous?

Sun: Well, he is a Slytherin...}

Hagrid frowned a bit. "20 points off of Slytherin fer disrespect."

{Aidan: Can he do that?

Yoko: He can now.}

He said, then proceeded to ignore Malfoy completely and continue his lesson about Ramoras(1).

{Yoko: Ramoras? Sounds tasty.

Sun: (waves.) Hi Mr. Footnote!}

In response to this, Malfoy proceeded to sit in a corner and pout

{Zoku: We don't care.}

for the rest of the class.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Sun: (singing.) Draco the Bouncing Ferret, he's your friend and mine! Draco the Bouncing Ferret, he'll come to the rescue right on time! When you're in trouble, when no one cares. When you're in trouble Draco the Bouncing Ferret will be there! Draco the Bouncing Ferret, he's your friend and mine! Draco the Bouncing Ferret, his love really is a sign.

Everyone Except Sun: ...

Yoko: If you ever sing that rubbish again, I swear, I'll strangle you.

Sun: You have no sense of humor.}

"Did you guys see the look on his face?! HA! He was fuming!"

{Zoku: Techinally, we couldn't see his face. I mean, it's kind of hard when there are no pictures!}

Ron declared merrily, trudging back to the Castle with his best mates. "Father's gonna sue you!" he continued, in a mock-baby version of Malfoy's voice. "Jesus, what a daddy's boy!"

{Yoko: Jesus is a daddy's boy?

Aidan: ...Well... I guess he is...

Sun: We are not discussing religion. We've already pissed off the Republicans!

Aidan: We have?}

Harry was nearly falling over from laughter.

{Yoko: Note that if Harry had actually fallen over, he would have fallen right out the window.}

This was just the thing he needed to cheer him up, after Malfoy put silver and green streaks in his hair as a new-school-year prank

{Zoku: (coughs and points at his hair.) Is there something wrong with green hair?

Sun: Only when silver streaks are included. You're not going to age well, Zoku-kun.}

(definitely a wonderful way to start off his last year in Hogwarts, don't you think?).

{Zoku: You'll get yours, fic. Just wait...

Aidan: Zoku-kun, it's a fic...}

He glanced up at Hermione from his bent-over position,

{Yoko: That sounds dirty...}

only to notice that she wasn't laughing at all.

{Sun: You expected her too?}

"Hey, Hermione, what's the deal?"

{Zoku: She's in a crappy crossover fic AND she's going to end up camping in an unknown forest that might be swarming with tentacles that want to violate virgin--

Aidan: (hits Zoku.)

Yoko: 'Bout time.}

he asked her. "Thought you'd be thrilled to see that git fail to piss Hagrid off, for once."

{Sun: She secretly wanted chaos to erupt.}

Hermione kept gazing forward, a dream-like expression on her face.

{Zoku: Oh, I get it! She's fantasizing.

Aidan: (narrows eyes.) About what?

Zoku: Eh... maybe Remus/Sirius?

Yoko: That's not what you were going to say.

Zoku: I know, but Aidan hits hard.)

"Huh? Oh, that… Well, I dunno, maybe…" she trailed off.

{Zoku: (continuing Hermione's dialogue.) "Maybe Remus and Sirius really are like that."

Sun: (impersonating Harry.) "What!?"

Ron walked in front of her and started waving his hands frantically in her face. "Um, earth to Hermione?"

{Sun: I think the penguins stole Hermione's mind.

Zoku: No, she's just really concentrating on her fantasies.}

She ignored him.

{Aidan: Must be some bloody good fantasies.}

"Hermione!"

Ignored.

{Yoko: Why doesn't Ron just grab her and shake her?

Sun: One, that might imply RonxHermione which, for some reason, is a little unnerving. Second, not everyone's as aggressive as you.}

"Heeeerrmiiiooooneeee…"

Nope, still ignored.

{Yoko: Fine, just slap her then.

Sun: That's even worse!}

"HERMIONE!!"

La dee daaa… Ignored.

{Yoko: WOMAN! SNAP OUT OF YOUR WARPED FANTASIES!!!

Aidan: Are you feeling the repetition yet?}

"OH MY GOD, WE HAVE A POP QUIZ IN ASTROLOGY TOMORROW!!"

{Yoko: What the--Astrology!?

Sun: Question One: What's your sign?

Zoku: It's a quiz, Sun-chan, not a matchmaker.}

This seemed to get her attention. "WHAT?! How do you know?! On what?! Movement patterns, solar systems, month and planet relations, weather and planet relations-"

{Zoku: And Hermione returns to her normal, know-it-all self.}

"Calm down! No quiz! I was kidding!" Harry hurriedly cut the frantic girl off. "What's up with you today, anyways? You're not one to space out often, as far as I can tell."

{Zoku: She was finally succumbing to the power of slash, indulging in the beautiful power of its uh... power!

Yoko: Never try to be poetic again.}

Hermione sighed thoughtfully. "Well, I've been thinking about this trip thing… It seems like a wonderful idea, to learn about foreign animals and their behaviors and mannerisms and-"

{Zoku: In an unknown forest. I still think this is going to lead to tentacle--ACK!!! (whimpering because Aidan has decided grab his hand and bend his fingers back, threatening to break them off.) Itai...

Yoko: That's got to be spousal abuse...}

Ron rolled his eyes. "Get to the point, Herm."

{Sun: There is no point. Just Gravitation and Harry Potter clashing in a hideous way.}

Hermione glared at him. "Well, what I'm trying to say is, though this is a great opportunity… Don't you think it's a bit odd?

{Yoko: At last! Someone notices!

Sun: Maybe they're not all stupid...}

After all, we've never had a field trip before, except to Hogsmead, which is understandable, it being rather close. But long distance trips…

{Zoku: Weep for your generation, Hermione.}

as far as I can recall, and I have read Hogwarts: A History, you know… no one has!"

{Aidan: You honestly want to know the truth, Hermione? It's because an evil force called Pyrasi has taken over the minds of Dumbledore and the Ministry.

Sun: You know... that's not too far from the truth.}

"Eh, quit bellyaching over it," Ron replied idly. "Dumbledore and the Ministry said it was OK, right?"

{Aidan: Because Pyrasi made them to fulfill her dreams to make... this!}

Hermione sighed again. "I know, but still… I can't help thinking something will go wrong…"

{Zoku: I knew it, there's tent--(looks at Aidan.) Tents. Anything can go wrong in tents.

Aidan: Uh-huh.}

"Y'know, if you keep going on like this, you'll spoil all the fun. What can get better than this?! We get to miss school, and somehow learn something in the process!

{Yoko: There's always a catch, children.}

Roasted marshmallows… Mmm…"

{Yoko: Roasted children... Mmm...

Sun: Oi oi! Watch it, Jeffrey Dahmer!}

the redhead's face wore a dreamy expression as his mind drifted off to candyland.

{Zoku: I hated that board game.}

It was now Hermione's turn to roll her eyes, and Harry decided that it would be appropriate for him to join in as they walked off to the greenhouses for Herbology.

{Sun: I wonder if Mr. Potter ever feels like a third wheel...}





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Sun: (whines.) I wanna sing!

Yoko: Do it and I will strangle you.}


"YUUUUUUUUKIIIIII! I'm home!"

{Zoku: The nightmare is coming true.}

Shuichi shouted as he practically skipped into the living room. "And I have some really good news, too!"

{Aidan: Pyrasi died?

Yoko: This crossover bit is just a joke?

Zoku: I was right about the tenta--tents!

Sun: Shuu-chan's pregnant!?

Yoko: (gives Sun a disturbed look.)

Sun: (impersonating Shuuichi.) "Look Yuki! It's blue!"}

Yuki ran his hand through his messy blonde hair. "The label finally dropped your band?

{Yoko: Keep dreaming, Yuki. It might do you no good, but keep dreaming.}

Good, now Japan won't have to bear hearing any more of your crappy songs."

{Sun: Bare. Bear is what'll destroy the camping trip... hopefully.}

"Waaaah, you're so mean to me!" Shuichi sobbed. "Why can't you be nice for once?!"

{Zoku: Shuuichi sounded a bit like a conehead there.

Sun: Considering the way he sounded in the dub, I wouldn't be surprised.}

Yuki rolled his eyes. "I'm just kidding, retard. What is it?"

{Aidan: (drum roll.)}

Shuichi grinned. "We're going caaaaamping!"

{Sun: Because having the Harry Potter kids suffer in an unknown forest just isn't enough!}

The other raised an eyebrow. "What?"

{Yoko: You get to be dragged into this fic too! Be delighted, Yuki!}

"K-san got us on a reality TV show about camping with Nittle Grasper for publicity!"

{Sun: It seems reality TV shows managed to sneak into Japan as well.

Yoko: Camping with Nittle Grasper in an unknown forest with the Harry Potter children nearby!? Does this author realize how stupid that sounds!?

Zoku: Obviously not.}

"…"

{Sun: The penguins just stole Yuki's brain.

Aidan: Probably.}

"We get to go camping, and have a TV crew document it! How cool is that?!"

{Zoku: In an unknown forest. It sounds like some warped version of The Blair Witch Project.}

"…"

Shuichi wasn't give up that easily. "AND GUESS WHAT ELSE?! We get to bring GUESTS!"

{Zoku: Because misery loves company?}

"…Let me guess. You want me to come?"

(Oooh, a reaction!)

{Sun: Yuki, for all that is holy, don't go!

Yoko: You don't believe in holiness.

Sun: ...Damn.}

The pink haired singer nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"Whoop dee frickin' doo. It sounds like perfect fun," Yuki deadpanned, "but I ain't comin', kiddo."

{Aidan: Bad translation in the making.}

Shuichi put his best puppy-dog face on

{Zoku: Complete with the actual puppy-dog costume...

Aidan: I wonder how he manages to change into costumes in a matter of seconds.}

(and he was damned good at it, might I comment… Practicing in front of mirrors does help, apparently).

{Yoko: Shuuichi has too much free time.}

"Pleeeaaaaase?"

{Yoko: Save yourself. Just say no.}

"No. I've got a deadline to make."

{Zoku: Me thinks Shuuichi doesn't care.}

"Aw, c'mon, you always ignore deadlines anyways!" Shuichi countered, flashbacks of Yuki's editor stressed and pissed off coming to mind.

{Sun: Is Shuu-chan certain that he's not mixing Yuki up with Shigure-san?

Yoko: I didn't allow Utena. I'm not allowing Furuba either.

Sun: Do enjoy taking my fun away!?

Yoko: Actually, yeah.}

Yuki sighed. "Look, you remember the last time you went on that cooking show thing…" he trailed off, remembering the trouble the media caused after it.

{Zoku: It's not like they don't already know...}

The singer frowned. "But, it'll be different this time! After all, we've got nothing to hide." He walked over and hugged the irritated novelist.

{Aidan: Plus they won't be needing Tatsuha-kun to be Yuki's double if the novelist is there...}

Said irritated novelist rolled his eyes dully. "They can always make something up, y'know. Those media guys are more bloodthirsty than you'd think."

{Zoku: I'm getting images of dead bodies all over this unknown forest.}

Shuichi clung harder. "Yea, but we got through it last time, right?"

"…Yea, except-"

{Sun: He shalt not follow without thee fight!}

"So you'll come, riiiiight?"

"Listen, I-"

"Good!" Shuichi stated happily and walked into the kitchen before the other could utter a word.

{Yoko: Idiot...}

Yuki sighed. Knowing Shuichi, he reasoned he didn't really have a choice but come. Unless, of course, he got Tatsuha to go instead of him, but who knew what havoc his maniac brother would cause of there? (especially if Ryuichi was coming. Ye gods, that makes it even worse).

{Sun: Ryuu-chan wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully at night if Tatsuha was there.

Yoko: You seem convinced.

Sun: Why shouldn't I be convinced?}

Hopefully I'll come out of this camping shit at least half conscious, Yuki thought to himself grimly as he followed his lover into the kitchen to make sure he wouldn't cut his head off with any of the butter knives.

{Zoku: Shuu-chan proves that some people should never be allowed near kitchens. Period.}


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


(1) - an animal I got off my book about Magical Animals. Heehee, yep, for those of you who don't know, there actually is one. Mine's in Hebrew. XP whee, special.

{Aidan: Does this mean the fic's over.

Yoko: Hopefully.}



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Well then, I am officially done with the Prologue!

{Yoko: Damn! An end note!}

-throws confetti-

{Sun: (brushes confetti out of hair.)}

ah, dear readers of mine (hopefully, I have some dear readers to address), how innocent this story must seem to you now.

{Yoko: Riiiight. Innocent. It's like that rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.}

Oh, but it'll get much more interesting. Much, much, more interesting. Can you say, train accident?

{Sun: Fear it.}

Can you say, crack smoking hippy?

{Zoku: Smack-croaking hippy?

Aidan: Crack-smoking hippy.}

Bwahaha. I have plans for you, dearest fanfic. Yes I do. -pats said fanfic lovingly-

{Yoko: Are to going to kill it!? Please do!

Zoku: Hell yeah! It's over!

(All characters race for the exit.)}